Titchy items…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s smell is that of an overheating vacuum cleaner.
Bang!… Smoke… fluff… fluff… fluff… fluff…

Excuses for being late. No.92.
I’m sorry I’m late, but I had trouble getting those stains out of my dinner jacket.

In the cafe, over the speakers, some ghastly girl with a flat penetrating voice is slowly singing, ‘How does it fee-al?… How does it fee-al?’

A single overheard remark:
‘So, by then the fighting was over, so we went home…’

When people, after seeing a film, say, ‘The photography was wonderful.’, what they really mean is, ‘I like grass, forests, snow-capped mountains, lakes, speeded up clouds, and sunsets…’

Two rough-looking men on the street were pacing about, arguing, gesturing, and ‘effing and blinding’ loudly at each other. As I walked past one of them was screaming, ‘Bring me my wallpaper back now!’ Surrealism is alive and well…

I nipped into a second-hand shop/pawn shop the other day, just to get out of the rain. Looking around at all the electric drills, guitars, DVDs, televisions, shiny bright bicycles, I spotted a pair of hi-fi loudspeakers. They were black, really black, about five feet tall, and over a foot wide. What a brilliant piece of marketing! How well the manufacturer, in naming their product, had judged the profile of their potential customers! The speakers were called ‘Intimidation’. Oh, just imagine glancing out of your front window to see your new neighbours moving in carrying a pair of those…

Excuses for being late. No.92A.
I’m sorry I’m late, but I got engrossed in writing my Christmas hit single.

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in conversation, music, observations, serendipity, surrealism and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Titchy items…

  1. Snoring Dog Studio says:

    That is one awful smell – I know. You cannot vacuum up dog toys and avoid it.

    If you’re ever going house shopping, always, always, check the surrounding homes for similar Intimidators. That info should be required in the real estate disclosure.

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