Monthly Archives: August 2012

Mandimoy akko tups!

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s architectural term is ‘Stylobate’ – The substructure on which a colonnade stands; more correctly, the top step of the structure forming the crepidoma. I always wondered what that thing on my crepidoma was called… >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> … Continue reading

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Estelle Wilde and the Green Globe…

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s featured biscuit is the ‘Garibaldi’ – what an unpleasant nasty little thing this is – even dipped in hot tea it fails to excite! Its only use is for putting under the leg of a … Continue reading

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What have those TV ads been telling us?

But first… Dultown, Europe: Today’s dictionary word is ‘bummaree’ – a middleman in Billingsgate fish market. I’m sure that we all feel better for knowing that… >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> A gigantic seventy-five percent – Fantastic, or what? – We helped millions of … Continue reading

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Just an hour on the train…

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s featured dance is the ‘Black Bottom’. Come on Stella, ‘Hop down front then doodle back – mooch to your left, then mooch to your right’ – but hey, mind you don’t knock my aspidistra over, … Continue reading

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Surrealism and gluttony…

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s featured piece of classical music is Igor Stravinsky’s magnificent ‘Dance of the Big Black Snake.’ (1929). Oh, how we ducked and dived to those crazy rhythms! >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Oh no! It seems that Tony Mayonnaise and … Continue reading

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Some titchy items…

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s instruction is to give it a good rub down with an oily rag and then arrange the display of knickknacks as you would in a church. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Excuses for being late. No. 137. I’m sorry … Continue reading

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‘Art Mugs’ Dave?…

But first…Dulltown, Europe: Today’s weather is composed of round hard aerial turnips bumping and grinding above clouds of hot gaseous ox-tail soup. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> So, walking through town a week or so ago, as I glanced into the window of the … Continue reading

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And what are your children called?

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s joke is the one about the naked ginger prince in Las Vegas. Not very amusing at all really, I don’t know why they bothered telling it… I mean, who would be stupid enough to be … Continue reading

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The Madness of Decalcomania…

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s dictionary word is ‘churn-owl’ – the night-jar. Oh, they are noisy little buggers those churn-owls! >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> What the hell’s this? Oh, it’s all right, it’s just another of my decalcomania monoprints or ‘monotypes’. You may … Continue reading

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More overheard and misheard snatches of conversation…

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s heraldic term is ‘compartment’ – the representation of the ground, or other surface on which the supporters, shield, and motto stand. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ‘She pecked off again…’ ‘Wonder form.’ ‘Mind you, diddly-do.’ ‘Ted divorced at the … Continue reading

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A Trawler on the Humber by Roy…

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s financial forecast is for the European Investment Bank to be writhing and rolling amongst the cushions on a plump couch watching old scratchy reruns of the Troubled Asset Relief Program. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Here is another painting … Continue reading

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…but words cannot hurt me…

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s dictionary word is ‘spontoon’ –  a small-headed halberd formerly carried by officers. Mm… I like my halberds to have large heads, but it is of course a matter of personal choice. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ‘Excuse me, is … Continue reading

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Some more titchy items…

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s shopping list: sweet potatoes, feather duster, 3mm drill bit, printer ink (cyan), broccoli, rice milk, 2 beech rolling pins, A4 heavyweight drawing pad, bananas. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Excuses for being late. No.136. I’m sorry I’m late, but … Continue reading

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‘Siege of the Bismark’…

But First… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s architectural term is ‘Demi-Lune’ – the outwork of a fortress, crescent-shaped, or forming an angle. I had a demi-lune built to keep away those door-to-door religious people. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> So, Dave, why do you sit flicking … Continue reading

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A quick cig. in the churchyard…

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s heraldic term is ‘guige’ – a strap to hold a shield when not in use. Actually I don’t take my shield out with me any more, well, not since I broke my guige. (By the … Continue reading

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There’s a man in the bushes…

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s financial forecast is for the banks to continue to pretend to be embarrassed, but will still throw hands full of thousand dollar bills in the air, drunk and laughing, in a seedy hotel room Las … Continue reading

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Things happening in the Garden…

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s adjectives are: Plump, Anodyne, Buttery, and Pyroclastic. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ‘What the hell is this supposed to be?’ ‘Oh, hello Stella, I didn’t hear you come in.’ ‘Well?’ ‘Yes thank you, but I do feel a bit…’ … Continue reading

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More pithy bits…

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s weather will feature elevated snooty fat monarchs with the possibility of heavy Shahs in the afternoon. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Excuses for being late. No.135. I’m sorry I’m late, but existential angst prevented me from getting out of … Continue reading

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An ox-tale soup…

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s joke is the one about the giraffe and the sloth playing a very long game of snooker. Oh, how we groaned into our nose bags! >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Popping into my favourite cafe for a green tea … Continue reading

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So, what have the TV ads been telling us?

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s weather will be shaped like a great big fat bee carrying a bulging going-away suitcase – there may be meteor showers in the night also… >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> When you choose velvet – Because of you – … Continue reading

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