Simon and Tony’s banquet…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s financial forecast is for the markets to go ape big time, and for futures to glimpse a wide-eyed rabbit in the road.

My ‘friend’ Stella tells me that those two aesthetic rogues, Simon Doom and Tony Mayonnaise, writers and poets from the glory days of the Hull Surrealist League, have decided to be ‘best mates’ again… Who cares?
She says that she attended a ‘wonderful’ event the other evening when they hired a local Dulltown restaurant to put on one of their famous ‘Surrealist Gourmet Banquets’; she was surprised, she said, that she didn’t see me there… but she did bring me a copy of the menu so I could get at least a sense of the marvelous occasion that I had missed… Thank you Stella!
She did also confide that she had been up all night with the stomach ache…

Pomegranate danger. (mild)
Swamp potato with castor oil gravy.
Blazing avocado bombe.
Eel and chipolata tangle.
Cheese straw pyramid with live molluscs.
60 year-old veal in a rusty tin.
Peppermint and coriander whizz.
Skewered hog tongue and cabbage water dip.
Spiky bone custard surprise.
White icy goose feathers on hot black toast.
Crumbled chipboard and tin-tack mix. (spicy!)
Liver and strawberry torte with Golden Syrup.
Fresh sterling banknotes dipped in honey. (£30 and £50 plates)
Bathroom mould on damp cream crackers.
Pickled and coiled wallpaper strip kebabs. (hot!)
Whole roast smiling dolphin with brandy stuffing.
Heinz beans on toast with a Dairylea triangle.
Mothwing broth. (bath-sponge croutons)
Pomegranate danger. (Swiss-style)
Whelk buttercup dainty-cakes.
Fake hake steak cake. (salty!)
Lobster-claw edible mobile. (look up!)
Pot noodle pagan sacrifice altar.
Blood sausage meringue pie. (sweet!)
Professionally spoiled green salad.

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in art, brain, dreaming, food, Grumpiness, humour, information, money, poetry, surrealism, words and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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