Two items from the past…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s existential angst is centred around the idea of the Atlantic Ocean.

Two small items from the days when my blog was on something called Myspace:

Why are rap stars like little old ladies?
Well, at first sight one would think that the two have very little in common; however, both of these groups do seem to have the predilection for being very critical and angry most of the time, and are as a result constantly snapping and complaining about stuff. They wear too many clothes, both indoors and out, seem to have problems with their genital regions, enthusiastically rant on extreme politics, are generally homophobic, and both like tea, and buttered scones… No, no, that last bit can’t be right…

Hey! Why don’t we have brown cars any more?
We regularly see red, blue, silver, white, yellow, green, maroon, black, turquoise, even pink… brown? No… What’s the matter with brown for goodness sake? It’s a good colour is brown…
I think they had them back in the 1970s – lots of things were brown in the seventies: furniture, sinks, lampshades, wallpaper, curtains, ties, baths, toilets, shirts, TV programmes, corduroy trousers… even Fender Stratocaster guitars…
Come on everybody, let’s start a campaign to bring back brown cars! Let’s write some letters to Hyundai, Nissan, Ford… I think I might knock off a few ‘Bring Back Brown Cars’ t-shirts, and some BBBC badges to give away too… When I’m rich I’m going to order a lovely shiny chocolate-brown Bentley to swank about in… just picture it glowing and sparkling in the sun as I zip quietly along, grinning broadly, and wearing my Saville Row three-piece brown suit, and nibbling on a small piece of Belgian chocolate… Mm… chocolate…

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
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