Monthly Archives: July 2014

Nuclear fusion, clever riffs, and punctuation…

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s letter of the alphabet is the capital Z – chosen for its forthright swan-like spikiness. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> It was mid-afternoon on a hot day last week; all the cafes in town were full of noisy sweaty … Continue reading

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Wheat and pavement…

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s existential angst is centred around the shape and sound of the word ‘cuddle.’ >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Whoa! Look out! Here it comes! No no, it’s alright, it’s just a poster… Or is it a poster? It looks … Continue reading

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High finance…

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s expletive is ‘Myst all critey’ – a spoonerism, apparently popular in Australia and New Zealand. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ‘Mummy…’ ‘Yes dear?’ ‘Money…’ ‘Yes?’ ‘Mummy, suppose I had five thousand pounds…’ ‘Alright then dear, suppose you had.’ ‘…and I … Continue reading

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Oh, those crazy artists!…

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s heraldic term is ‘stain’ – a heraldic colour that is not one of the primaries. I once had a ‘stain’ on my escutcheon, but happily it came off with a bit of light scrubbing with … Continue reading

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Grumpy Stella pops round…

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s snapshot is the one of me punching Salvador Dali on the nose in a Paris cafe. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ‘de Chirico Copy’ 2009 – pencil on paper, about 24″ x 17″. (G.d.C.) ‘Get the kettle on David, … Continue reading

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Small, but pithy items…

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s instruction is to tiptoe up to it, stroke its snout, and, whilst humming Paul McCartney’s ‘Mull of Kintyre’, feed it handfuls of broken biscuits. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Excuses for being late. No. 217. I’m sorry I’m late, … Continue reading

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Mayonnaise on the phone…

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s colours are: white, white, white, pale yellow, white, white, white, and white. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Phew! What a warm afternoon it was! I was zigzagging through town trying to avoid the direct sunlight when I spotted Tony Mayonnaise, … Continue reading

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Broadband package on bright green…

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s adjectives are: flippant, doughty, rubiginous, Heracleian, diaphanous and bumpy. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Yes dear reader, here is another from my very long series of one-off collage postcards; this one is number 4434 and was glued together two or three weeks ago. ‘But … Continue reading

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Some snatches of overheard and misheard cafe conversation…

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s outside temperature is 296 degrees Kevin. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Note: Today’s snatches are from just two people, a middle-aged couple, at a nearby table. ‘No… the chair!’ ‘Sand too, everyone…’ ‘No, I don’t want it!…’ ‘It sounded lighter.’ ‘Yes, … Continue reading

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Parallel Movie Time…

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s expletive is ‘By St Loy!…’ – A very specific oath (according to my little book on swearing) used in the C15th to C16th by blacksmiths when the horse they were shoeing kicked them. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> It was a bad … Continue reading

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Rene, Robin, and the apple…

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s existential angst is centred around the idea of dandruff. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Shall we open, and poke about in, the files of digitally scanned negatives from the days when I used to do old-style black and white … Continue reading

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Cheese dream… cheese dream…

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s random dictionary words are: moggan, epideictic, bugloss, samshu, kistvaen, and kippage. Please have these words looked up and placed in suitable sentences ready for Professor Mouldie first thing after breakfast tomorrow morning. Mrs Mouldie may be … Continue reading

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Rammed with shims…

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s joke is the one about the two bishops and the stolen bucket of eels – Oh, how we stifled our guffaws as we knelt in prayer! >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Last week a couple of my friends whizzed me off … Continue reading

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So what is it that those TV ads are trying to tell us?…

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s weather will be composed of atmospheric blue sibilants, framed by a backdrop of sprouting grey nouns, which are lording it over a scattering of warm earthy consonants below. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> It sooths in three minutes – let’s make it happen! – full LED headlights! … Continue reading

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Ah, those Victorians…

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s instruction is to make paper aeroplanes from all of your unpaid utility bills and see if you can glide them down to land on the tops of people’s heads from one of your upstairs windows. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Oh … Continue reading

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Just some titchy items…

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s snapshot is the one of me having a coffee and a cigarette with Jean-Paul Sartre. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Excuses for being late. 216. I’m sorry I’m late, but I was busy perfecting my anti-gravity shoes. A single overheard … Continue reading

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Veronica and the sopping thighs…

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s local village that sounds like an insult is Sproatley. (S) ‘So, Cynthia, how was last night’s first date with Giles?’ ‘Oh, it was awful! He’s so sproatley… and he’s got sweaty hands…’ >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> I just received an email from … Continue reading

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The pulsing object in the tank…

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s random dictionary words are: whish, glume, prolegomena, dilling, and teapoy. Please have these words looked up and placed in suitable sentences ready for Professor Mouldie first thing after breakfast tomorrow morning. He may turn up wearing … Continue reading

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Tip-top tap tap…

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s instruction is to run around it few times clapping your hands and wearing a silly hat, and then try to temp it with food, say a small piece of Red Leicester. (R.L.) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ‘So, Violet, … Continue reading

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The painting and the moss…

But first… Dulltown, Europe: Today’s existential angst is centred around the idea of buttons. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Of course, when Mark Rothko visited Dulltown, he didn’t stay very long; he apparently wasn’t that impressed with the city, and only had time to do one quick … Continue reading

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