High finance…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s expletive is ‘Myst all critey’ – a spoonerism, apparently popular in Australia and New Zealand.

‘Yes dear?’
‘Mummy, suppose I had five thousand pounds…’
‘Alright then dear, suppose you had.’
‘…and I decided to put it in the bank so that it will be safe.’
‘Well, I’d be sort of lending the bank my five thousand pounds, wouldn’t I?’
‘Yes dear, that’s right.’
‘So, what does the bank do with my money? Do they look after it, and keep it in a big safe?’
‘Well no, they might lend it to someone else, and charge them a lot of interest on it, or they might gamble with it on the stock market to try to make more money.’
‘Oh, I see… So, as I’ve lent the bank my five thousand pounds, do they pay me some interest on it?’
‘Well dear, they might, but if they do it will only be a little bit.’
‘Oh, that’s not very nice is it?’
‘No dear, it’s called banking…’
‘The idea is to keep the rich people rich, and the rest of us poor.’
‘Yes dear?’
‘Shall we have a revolution and put a stop to all that?…’
‘Yes, alright… why don’t you get your paints out and start making some posters…’
‘Thanks Mum!… I think we’ll have a lot of nice red on them…
‘Yes dear?’
‘Can I use really bad swear words on my posters?’
‘Of course dear…’


About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
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2 Responses to High finance…

  1. seriousartcritic says:

    I have an old savings account with 47p in it. The bank wrote to me to tell me this. I thought that while I was in town I’d pop in and close it. Didn’t want the money, just thought I’d save the bank the bother of writing to me. “Sorry Sir, we can’t close the account until you return the bank card.” I don’t remember having a bank card and tried to explain that, even if I did have one, if the account no longer existed surely the card doesn’t matter. “Sorry Sir, we can’t close the account until you return the bank card.”
    So they can keep writing to me, at a cost greater than 47p, to tell me I have an account with 47p in it, until the end of time (or the revolution!). Bankers!!

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