Grinning and whinnying and wet…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s existential angst is centred around the dents in the carpet where the piano used to stand.

‘Is that like hogwash, or balderdash… or Hogwarts?’
‘No?… Is it one word or two?…’
‘Oh, er, probably two, but it sounds like one.’
‘So… What’s it mean then? It sounds like a posh person’s name.’
‘What, like Lord Horsewash of Wilmington?’
‘Yes, that sort of thing.’
‘Well, come on then, what is it?’
‘It’s a place.’
‘It’s a place here in Dulltown.’
‘Oh, come on! Where… and what is it? – Is it a street?’
‘No, it’s a paved slope that goes down into the river near the pier, where in olden days…’
‘Olden days?’
‘Yes, in olden days they would take the horses…’
‘Horses? What horses?’
‘Cart horses that used to pull the wagons and the rullies…’
‘Mm… Yes, nice word ‘rully’… they’d walk them all, clipperty-clop, down to the water on a Sunday morning, and give them a jolly good wash… Sunday morning strollers would stand and watch…’
‘Do you remember this?’
‘No! Of course not!…’
‘You are making all this up, aren’t you?’
‘No, it’s true, but it was never called Horse Wash…’
‘It wasn’t?… Here we go!… Are you deliberately trying to be annoying?’
‘No, no, in the local accent it was called ‘Hoss Wash’, or, if you liked to drop your h’s, in the northern fashion, ‘Oss Wash’…’
‘This all sounds most unlikely…’
‘Look, I could show you an old photo of it, if you like…’
‘It had better be worth it after all this!…’
‘Oh, it will – apparently the horses loved it – just look at them grinning and whinnying, enjoying their bath…’
‘Oh yes… Cool!…’

(‘Oss Wash)

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in archeology, brain, conversation, Dulltown, existentialism, history, Hull.UK., humour, information, surrealism, words and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s