Stella’s Holmes pun philosophy…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s featured letter of the alphabet is the capital G. It is a nicely rounded letter with no unpleasant spikes, it also has a nice horizontal seat for you to have a rest on when you pause in your writing…

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERALandscape No 52. 1993. Pastel and colour pencil on paper, about 24″ x 18″

‘Oh, hello Stella, do come in… you are a bit earlier than I expected… what the hell is that on your head?’
‘It’s a hat, you idiot!’
‘Hm… ‘
‘Well David?…’
‘Well what, Stella my dear?’
‘Aren’t you going to hang up my Inverness cape and my deerstalker for me?’
‘Yes, of course, oh, it’s nice material this cape… So, why the Sherlock Holmes theme Stella?’
‘It’s not a theme David, it’s called style – something you wouldn’t know much about! Go and put the kettle on, It’s a thick fog out there, I want a big mug of hot steaming Taylors of Harrogate Yorkshire tea!’
‘Right ho! Sure you wouldn’t prefer an opium pipe, or a jab of that seven-percent solution my dear Holmes?…’
‘Just shut up you dullard!… What biscuits do you have in?’
‘Today I have some Jaffa Cakes for you…’ (JC)
‘Good God!… Oh well, I suppose they’ll have to do… I think I’ll need my sunglasses for this one.’
‘Well, it’s a bit bright isn’t it?’
‘This drawing…’
‘This painting, it’s a bit bloody bright… It knocks one’s eyes out David.’
‘Well, perhaps it is supposed to Stella, how many Jaffa Cakes would you like?’
‘Just open the packet and put it on the arm of my chair. You must have been unusually cheerful back in 1993 David.’
‘Oh? I don’t think so…’
‘Look at it… it’s fecund!…’
‘Yes… No sign of any man-made pollution or horrible slab-like capitalist urban cityscapes that you normally drop into these things… Earthy green jungley nature bubbling away, and the benevolent sun rising in a gorgeous Hollywood morning sky; I can hear the dicky-birds tweeting and chirruping… and the rabbits… making happy rabbit sounds…’
“Happy rabbit sounds’ Stella?’
‘Actually, these biscuits aren’t too bad you know.’
‘Do I?…’
‘I deduce that you used every last bright colour in your box of pastels on this one…’
‘Well yes, I suppose that I…’
‘If I bought you a Dr Watson hat, would you wear it?’
‘I don’t know what a ‘Dr Watson hat’ is Stella.’
‘No, I don’t either David… Hark! Can that be Inspector Lestrade’s heavy footsteps on the stair?…’

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in art, brain, colours, conversation, cool, drawing, existentialism, fashion, green, humour, information, observations, painting, style, surrealism and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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