Ugg and Lugg…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s expletive is: The devil in thy maw! – from the early 15th century Wakefield Shepherd’s Play.

‘Oh, hello Lugg.’
‘Come here Ugg!…’
‘What’s all this stuff here in the back of the cave?’
‘Eh? What stuff?’
‘All this stuff… This fruit, these mammoth steaks, and nuts, and look, a pile of handy antlers and some nice coloured stones Ugg.’
‘Oh that…’
‘Well what Lugg?’
‘Don’t pretend to be dafter than you are Ugg! Where’s it all come from? Have you stolen it?’
‘No, no, of course not Lugg… People gave it to me.’
‘And Ugg, why did people give it to you? If you don’t mind me asking…’
‘They left it here, when they came into the cave this afternoon.’
‘Go on!…’
‘Well, that’s about it really Lugg.’
‘No, it isn’t!… Is this something to do with you rubbing those white stones on the back wall of the cave?’
‘Er… sort of…’
‘Look, all this stuff appeared while I’ve been out helping the lads to skin Tuesday’s mammoth  – what’s going on Ugg?’
‘Alright, the people came in to watch the spirits…’
‘Yes, Lugg, I never said these were spirits, they came up with that themselves!…’
‘Yes Lugg?’
‘Unless you want to get the feel of my best stone axe across your head, you’d better tell me what this is all about!… Alright?’
‘Yes Lugg.’
‘Well, it all started when I had another of my headaches on Monday morning…’
‘When you missed your flint knapping lesson with Chugg?’
‘Yes, I pulled the big buffalo skin over the cave entrance because the bright light was hurting my…’
‘Get on with it Ugg!’
‘Well there was a little hole in the middle of the skin where Mugg’s spear must have gone through when he killed it…’
‘Well… ghostly upside-down people appeared on the back wall of the cave Lugg.’
‘No, they didn’t Ugg… You’re an idiot!’
‘No, Lugg, they really did! I poked my head out and got some of the people outside, Nugg, Pugg, and Pugg’s nice new wife Wugg, to come in and have a look too.’
‘And they could see them as well, and there was a ghostly upside-down dog running about on the ceiling too.’
‘Nugg said that the upside-down shapes were ‘sky spirits’ attracted by the skin of the dead buffalo, and that the three of them would come back this afternoon with some ‘offerings’ for them…’
‘Mm… Ugg…’
‘Yes Lugg?’
‘Shall we have a spot of roast mammoth and some nice fruit and nuts?’
‘Mm, yes let’s… I’ll get the fire lit…’

And so cinema and religion were invented simultaneously…

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in archeology, brain, conversation, dreaming, expletives, food, history, humour, information, learning, magic, mind, photography, physics, religion, seeing, serendipity, thinking and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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