Stella doesn’t like it…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s financial forecast is for all the Foreign Exchange Market fiddlers to be arrested and sent to jail – tee-hee!… No, no, I’m only joking!… Had you going there, didn’t I?… As if!…

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERALandscape No 18. 1990. Charcoal and pencil on paper, about 24″ x 18″.

‘Ahoy, Stella my dear!’
‘What do you mean “ahoy”? That’s ridiculous!’
‘Do come in, the kettle is almost boiling…’
‘It’s like the Grimpen Mire out there!… Here, take my coat and hat, and hang them somewhere.’
‘The Grimpen Mire Stella?’
‘Yes, misty, crepuscular, and dank… Sherlock Holmes weather… you know!… “Hound of the Baskervilles”…’
‘Oh yes?… Dank eh?…’
‘I hope you’ve got some nice biscuits in, I… Jumping Moses on a blue raft!… What the hell is that?’
‘Oh, it’s just a drawing of mine from a while ago… I have an unopened packet of bourbon creams, oh, and half a packet of plain gritty digestives You can take your pick.’
‘Bloody hell David, that’s awful!’
‘Well, I’m sorry, but they were all I could get…’
‘No, this drawing – it’s awful!’
‘Why thank you Stella! You are always so encouraging… Look, here’s a nice big mug of steaming Taylors of Harrogate Yorkshire Tea for you. Would you like a few bourbons to dunk in it?’
‘What a miserable piece of work! I’m glad that I didn’t know you back then… I can see where you were coming from though.’
‘”Where I was coming from”?…’
‘Oh shut up, and pass the bourbons over. Actually David, bourbons do dunk nicely – they do blossom when immersed in hot tea!’
‘Yes, they do dunk well, don’t they?’
‘So, it’s a graphic rant!’
‘Is it?’
‘Yes, and a pretty doom-laden one it is too!’
‘Are those chunks of a fallen aircraft on top of that mound of rotting wildlife, that we humans are rapidly killing off, David?’
‘Could be, look, you can see the rivets…’
‘Yes, I can. Is the city on fire, or is it just sweating out its final fever as it roasts in the heat of the sun’s now fully exposed flood of death-dealing UV rays? Oh, these bourbons are nice you know!…’
‘I know…’
‘Did you put in that oil drum, floating in the foetid polluted water, as a reference to the famous red buoy in Turner’s marine painting ‘Helvoetsluys’ David?’
‘No, but now you mention it Stella… Yes!… Oh, hang on, I’ll get you an ashtray – still smoking those filthy French ones I see…’
‘How about some more tea!…’

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in art, blues, brain, conversation, drawing, dreaming, existentialism, green, humour, information, seeing, smoking, style, surrealism, sweating and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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