Some more titchy, but pithy items…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s mammoth is the slim urbane one.

Excuses for being late. No. 229.
I’m sorry I’m late, but I found that some of my rubber grommets had perished.

An overheard snatch of conversation:
‘You can’t expand anyway…’
‘No, you can’t expand anyway…’

I thought that I spotted the great god Mercury, (or was it Hermes?) riding his bicycle down Beverley Road, here in Dulltown yesterday, but it turned out to be just a bloke wearing one of those fleece-lined caps that have ear flaps. The ear flaps were blowing upwards in the wind and I mistook them for the little wings that are attached to the sides of god-helmets… (Hermes)

‘Oh look Dave, a new red BMW sports car parked down your street…’
‘Oh, that’ll just be a visiting drug dealer, or a landlord…’

‘I was in two minds about that, for about two months.’
‘Oh, right. That’s one mind per month then?’

A short item of spam from my comments box from someone called ‘uk no credit check’:
‘You need to pay back the particular approved volume along with the awareness.’
Thank you ‘uk no credit check’, I will certainly bear in mind what you have said…

‘What’s that smell in here?’
‘What smell?’
‘It smells like hot offal.’
‘Smells like ‘ot offal?’
‘Yes, what is it? Are you boiling some offal?’
‘Certainly not! Could it be these sweet peas here on the table?…’
‘Is it my pot of warm lentil soup in the kitchen then?’
‘Oh, yes… that’s it…’
‘Offal indeed!…’

A single overheard remark:
‘But when it comes to theonopsis!…’

The other day I heard someone say, ‘I got him a 1-D poster for his wall…’
I thought about this for a moment or two. I mean, posters are by their nature two-dimensional, if you ignore their thickness that is… So a one-dimensional poster would be just a straight line hanging on the wall. You needn’t buy one at all, you could just hang a piece of thread or thin wire instead…
Ah, but then, I realised that, being a bit out of touch with popular culture, I had misunderstood. She was talking about a poster of the bland boy band ‘One Direction’. Pity… I was rather enjoying the interesting concept of a one-dimensional poster… Hey, I suppose they might have those on their walls in Flatland… if they have walls that is…


About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in archeology, books, brain, conversation, cool, dreaming, existentialism, history, Hull.UK., humour, information, irony, mind, observations, serendipity, surrealism, thinking, words and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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