What is it that those TV ads are trying to tell us?

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s random dictionary words are: cramoisy, sbirro, zuz, greffier, physharmonica, and bohea.
Please have these words looked up and placed in suitable sentences ready for Professor Mouldie first thing after breakfast tomorrow morning. Mrs Mouldie may be present, but she will be pretending to not know who her husband is.

Little pieces of pure delight – passionate about animals – the super grain! – and easy to take with you – double texture! – breath in the warm spices! – fast fresh crystals! – superb grilling results! – five pounds free! – unbeatable protection against yellow staining – the best days – a rich full flavour! – enjoy low-fat fries! – live cultures! – high in fibre! – fifty percent off Alien Isolation – without feeling guilty – in a great range of colours – protect and condition! – our firmness rating – there’s more than one way to be the best! – a great night’s sleep! – make your moments golden! – a thousand pocket springs! – velvet smooth pedi range – the next day for free! – fibrology saved my hair – box office hits on demand! – products may vary in Scottish stores – eighty pounds cash back! – a month in a spa? – when you just don’t feel yourself – anything goes! – let’s feel good! – a creamy texture – a clever little two-in-one! – for a rich flavour! – our hair removal system – it’s hands free – on-the-go grooming.

If there is someone you have recently fallen out with, why not call them, and read this out to them in the voice of Nicolas Cage.

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
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