Some short, but pithy items…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s expletive is ‘By my troth!…’
In early C17th England swearing was made illegal, and even uttering this mild oath could get you into deep shit.

Excuses for being late. No. 235.
I’m sorry I’m late, but I had to pop into the cathedral and apologise to the bishop.

A single overheard remark:
‘There were two people on the Welsh one…’

‘This pavement is very mulchy…’
‘Yes, It’s the remains of the autumn leaves…’
‘Mulchy then?’
‘Yes… dark and mulchy…’
‘And slippery?’
‘Yes, do watch your step…’

An observation:
I got on the bus, but as I could hear some shouting and stamping coming from the upper deck I decided to sit in the lower saloon, as I believe it is called. The shouting and stamping continued for a mile or so of the journey with some comedian repeatedly ringing the bell every few minutes, which each time gave rise to uproarious laughter. I assumed it was a large gang of unsupervised school children up there, but when the bus stopped opposite the Silver Cod pub, and the driver shouted, ‘Silver Cod!…’ – between ten and twenty drunken middle-aged giggling men in flashy sportswear clattered down the stairs, alighted, and darted across the busy main road to the pub…

How dare you come flouncing in here with your clothes stinking of Febreze!…

An observation:
Yes, I know people often get tattoos of their partner’s names on various parts of their bodies, the neck is a popular area, as is the shoulder or upper arm, but the girl I spotted yesterday had her boyfriend’s name on the side of her foot, it was written horizontally in grey-blue, about an inch above the ground…

A single overheard remark:
‘It’s yearly oldy-worldy here…’

Now then, what’s this? Ah, a new item of spam in my comments box. This one is from someone called ‘baofeng’,
‘This not merely helps that you focus on everything that you would like to state, nonetheless it also helps you consolidate your answers. And as I share each of these along with you, you’ll see why HAM radio is the foremost solution. Baofeng quad band Many people
scoffed with the idea of purchasing 30 channels when they receive four or five, gratis.
The only difference might be their size and controls; otherwise all of the features are identical. Baofeng jelle That and working with other aspects in our business, we respond to kindness.’
Well thank you baofeng, I shall bear in mind what you have said.

A single overheard remark:
‘I had to scroll for like fucking twenty minutes…’




About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in brain, conversation, cool, drama, Dulltown, existentialism, expletives, history, Hull.UK., humour, information, observations, seeing, serendipity, style, surrealism, words and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Some short, but pithy items…

  1. Michael says:

    I recall from his excellent autobiography that ‘Wreckless’ Eric Goulden was a Silver Cod regular when he lived off Anlaby Road. Perhaps you even knew him back then, and there may be some hilarious stories ?

    • Dave Whatt says:

      Yes, I did know him back then, but not very well.
      I think he might have done better if he’d spelled ‘Wreckless’ without the ‘W’… Still, what do I know?…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s