Stella and the daubs…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s existential angst is centred around the idea of tripods.

DSCN3762Landscape No. 101. 2015. Pastel and colour pencil on paper about 24″ x 18″.

‘Yes, Stella my dear?’
‘I’m fed up with your cheapskate biscuits David.’
‘Well, you don’t have to eat them you know, I don’t twist your arm… Anyway, you usually get half a packet down your neck every time you visit…’
‘So, another of your old pastel drawings then? Mm, this tea is nice though… If you reach into my bag you’ll find half a packet of nice chocolate digestives.’
‘Really Stella? I’ve never know you bring biscuits with you, you are usually such a tight wad… and no…’
‘And ‘no’ what?’
‘And no, it’s not one of my old drawings – I only finished this one a couple of days ago.’
‘Yes, it’s new.’
‘Good God! You haven’t moved on much over the years have you?’
‘I suppose not… here, have one of your biscuits. I see that you have a scruffy tea-stained copy of A Confederacy of Dunces in your bag too…’
‘Do you?’
‘Yes, I do…’
‘You call yourself a surrealist David, but you are not really one, are you?’
‘Am I not?’
‘No… I don’t know what you are – your stuff’s not like Magritte or Dali, is it?’
‘Isn’t it Stella my dear?’
‘No, they could paint things properly, yours are a bit slapdash and messy aren’t they? You regularly drift into abstraction, as if you can’t really be bothered, and you don’t quite know what you are doing David…’
‘More tea my dear?’
‘Yes, why not?’
‘Perhaps I’m the Ignatius J. Reilly of the art world Stella?’
‘Ignatius J. Reilly… in your book… the book in your bag.’
‘Oh, I’ve not read it yet. That surrealist poet Simon Doom just gave me it, along with those chocolate digestives.’
‘Doom gave you these biscuits?…’
‘Yes, he’d just stolen them from the supermarket…’
‘Good God!…’
‘Never mind… Perhaps I’m an ‘abstract surrealist’ Stella?’
‘There isn’t such a thing David – I’ll have that last digestive, don’t you dare touch it!’
‘I am amazed at your hidebound conservatism Stella.’
‘You are such an academic sometimes…’
‘Pish-tosh David!’
‘And pish-tosh back at you Stella!’
‘The sky is nice though…’
‘Is it?’
‘Yes… I see that you are juxtaposing a realistic sky with the rough abstract daubs and curlicues of the urban landscape.’
“Daubs and curlicues’ Stella?’
‘Shut up you oaf!… and don’t you dare go near that biscuit!… Hoy!…’

A Confederacy of Dunces.

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in art, books, brain, colours, conversation, drawing, existentialism, humour, information, painting, seeing, style, surrealism, words and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Stella and the daubs…

  1. David Manley says:

    ho ho…really takes…oh no a pun too far!

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