Men in shorts…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s temperature is 277 degrees Kevin.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Here is an old post of mine from the time I was on something called Myspace – I wonder, does that still exist? You don’t hear much mention of it these days…
You might think it strange that bearing in mind that it is the depths of winter here in Dulltown UK (outdoor temperature 4 degrees Celsius, see above) that this piece is about wearing shorts. But of course I do try to cater for a worldwide audience so this piece might be appropriate for my reader(s) in the Southern hemisphere…

I like to wear shorts in the summer.
Visually my legs are not what they were, but in hot weather it is nice to feel a cool breeze around them, white and lumpy though they are.
The big question facing humanity is, just what length should a chap’s shorts be? I like mine to stop two-and-a-quarter-inches above the patella – No, I jest, I’m not really that accurate, but you get the idea.
The current trend seems to be for long shorts, stopping somewhere around mid-calf. To me, the trendy chaps who wear them look as if they have their big brother’s clothes on. However tall you are, these garments will make you look shorter than you are, and also more child-like. I don’t care what the Miami beach bums, or the gangstas in LA, are wearing – they just look silly!
Whilst I’m on the subject, I’m not very keen on shorts combined with training shoes without socks, or even with those clever ‘hidden’ trainer socks – it just looks cheap, as if you can’t afford socks, or as if you’ve just crawled out of bed and can’t find a clean matching pair to put on. I go for ‘tennis player’ thick white socks with small coloured clocks* on them – they look quite sporty, and are very comfortable. A friend of mine, whom shall be nameless (hello Brian) wears mid-grey nylon ‘everyday’ socks with shorts – that looks really bad! I have told him, but he takes no notice…
Back to shorts: Now, the other extreme is of course when shorts are too short. Girls seem to be able to get away with this, but not us chaps. Thankfully, this is a rare phenomenon, but the other day I spotted a tall bearded bloke about my age striding around town in such a pair – they virtually had no leg length at all, they were those with a slit up the side too  – you could see his skinny mahogany tanned legs right up to the hip bone – phew! I had to look away…
Come on you chaps just be sensible!…

Notes:
1) You may have noticed that I have omitted any mention of big wide brightly coloured and patterned Bermuda shorts which at time of writing seem universally popular. I think you can guess my opinion of those…
2) *Clocks on socks. The decorations on the sides of socks are called ‘clocks’ – I discovered this only recently.
3) Video Short shorts.

 

 

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in brain, cool, Dulltown, existentialism, fashion, Grumpiness, humour, information, observations, seeing, serendipity, style, words and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Men in shorts…

  1. In relation to note 2 about clocks, that’s not at all the same as sox on cox, that’s a Red Hot Chilli Pepper thing! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06Dql7EiMWE

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