Some snatches of overheard and misheard cafe conversation…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s joke is the one about the Labour Party politician who charges £5,000 a day for giving a speech. (Jack)

‘Make out that all perfect.’
‘Buckle nike-mo?’
‘Look at the colouring on this floor!…’
‘Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear…’
‘Look, I’m going in my menu.’
‘Fantastic, in terms of its colour, the floor.’
‘Bloody Gary!…
‘Just a doggle-put…’
‘It wasn’t just the demeanour Stan.’
‘You know she’s going to do it if she sits there.’
‘Yes, I think it’s the best apple.’
‘Cuttlefish Wednesdays?’
‘It would be a devil to wash though…’
‘I B I S Pandora McBeth?’
‘Like liquid aforethought…’
‘Always makes my eyes water.’
‘Nothing wrong with the wildge itself then?’
‘One lipstick on, when in fact…’
‘A prameeny closer?’
‘Yeah, yeah, yeah, a lip poison, exactly!’
‘Thick black tights and hair extensions!’
‘Foundation to match her fake tan…’
‘I say, “Just wave what you’ve got!”‘
‘Concealer and blusher?’
‘It was like a pullet to his face.’
‘Tony, I was all steaming up!’
‘He looked like a battle!’

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
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