Stella and the hairy footwear…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s workshop smells are those of a mackerel and tomatoes on toast lunch and Wilko’s matt black water-based paint.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERACity Road (1991) Charcoal and pencil on paper, about 24″ x 18″

‘Ah, good morning Stella my dear, do come in! Whoa! What the hell are those?…’
‘Good morning David, and what the hell are what?’
‘On your feet…’
‘They’re boots David, just boots, it’s chilly and moist out.’
‘They are caveman big hairy boots Stella…’
‘Are you going to put the bloody kettle on and make some tea, or are you going to stand there staring at my…’
‘Are they UGG boots Stella?’
‘They might be, look, just get yourself into the kitchen and… Oh!…’
‘That drawing… is it new?’
‘No, it’s old. Will you be eating biscuits today Stella my dear?’
‘I thought so, that drawing’s too good to be new, you can’t draw like that any more, you’ve lost it a bit over the years David… What sort of biscuits have you got?’
‘You are not very tactful are you?’
‘Tactful? – I’m packed full of tact, but I have to say what I think you know. What about biscuits then?’
‘No, no, you don’t have to say what you think – just keep stuff like that in your head, you, you minx! All I’ve got is an old packet of Garibaldis…’
‘Garibaldis! They’re horrible!… You are joking?’
‘Yes Stella I am, I really have custard creams.’
‘Hm, I suppose they’ll do, is that tea ready yet? It seems to be taking an age… Why have the buildings got knobs on them?’
‘All the best buildings have knobs on them Stella…’
‘Shut up you oaf… and what are those bars of soap doing chasing each other up the road David?’
‘Bars of soap? A large mug? A pint one?’
‘Yes please, and it had better be good quality tea, Taylors of Harrogate Yorkshire Tea if you don’t mind David.’
‘And they’re not bars of soap, they are cars, they are driven by the poor robotic wage-slave minions. The tea is from the Pound Shop, it was very cheap, the packets were a bit water damaged…’
‘Ha, to you too!… So Stella, big hairy UGG boots then…’
‘Yes, do you like them David?’
‘Yes I do, very much, very stylish… and it’s quite daring of you, at your age, to wear such interesting… Ouch!…’
‘Nice tea this! You know, those knobby buildings have a Touch of Picasso or Henry Moore about them.’
‘Do you think so Stella? ‘
‘Hm… Of course you were on your usual ‘green issues’ hobby-horse – urban decay, pollution, the stinking city of hard-faced concrete capitalist monuments, not a living soul in sight, even the sky is being corrupted by creeping man-made rectilinear hatchings – and see how the rays of the sun struggle to penetrate the all-pervading filth… these are very nice custard creams…’
‘Marks & Sparks…’
‘Hm… They dunk well, more tea please…’

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in architecture, art, brain, conversation, drawing, existentialism, fashion, green, Grumpiness, humour, information, observations, seeing, style, surrealism and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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