Some random observations from last December…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s instruction is to push the triangular cardboard tabs A, B, and D into the marked slots; using a ruler score along the dotted lines with a pointed implement and then fold the neck section around ready to receive the head. Pop the batteries in to activate the brain, attach the head, and then see if it can walk down to the shops unaccompanied.

Yes, I suppose I do call myself a surrealist. I know it’s silly, but I find it reassuring, and it almost gives my life some sort of meaning. Really, surrealism was dead and buried years ago and to be a surrealist now is… well, I suppose it’s a bit like people who dress up at the weekend and go off fighting English Civil War battles, or who put on nice robes and armour and go off jousting… But I digress… I’m not sure what I am digressing from, this is just a collection of idle musings and ramblings, I hope that it turns out to be at least a little bit interesting for you dear reader. Hm, but, then again, there’s not much point in being a surrealist when the world itself is mad as a box of frogs, or perhaps it is ‘mad as eggs’ as my friend Gibby used to say.
I was standing in the queue in the post office the other day when I spotted a young woman walking past outside. I know people have different ways of walking, different gaits, but this woman seemed to be defying gravity and the principles of mechanics. She leaned backwards as she walked. I know some people lean forward and some people walk upright and some lean back, but her leaning back was to my eye extreme. She went past the window like a yacht tacking in the wind. How she didn’t fall back on her bottom I don’t know. It was not as if she was holding a heavy weight, say a small anvil, at arm’s length in front of her to counteract the tilt. I’m afraid I can offer no explanation… oh, unless she was wearing very heavy footwear, say special lead-weighted deep-sea diver’s boots, which I couldn’t see from my vantage point in the queue – yes, I expect that was it…
Later I was in the supermarket. In the distance, across the cheeses and packets of cooked meats, I saw a chap pushing a trolley full of bright Christmas items. He wearing strange headgear; I couldn’t make out what it was. It was light brown in colour and was close-fitting above the ears. It rose up like the sort of thing that an ancient Egyptian monarch might wear, you know, the combined crowns of Upper and Lower Egypt. (Crowns) As he moved closer I could make out what it was; it was an imitation roast turkey, it had shapely legs sticking up each side above his ears. Again, I can offer no explanation for this. I don’t know if these things are available to buy as headgear, or whether he had improvised his from the sort of plastic thing that you might see in a shop window display during the Christmas season.
On the way home I walked past a sandwich shop. There was chalked sign outside advertising their snacks – along with the sandwiches, drinks, burgers, was ‘butted scone’. I suppose they must have a goat out the back of the shop to do those…

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in advertising, art, brain, cool, drama, dreaming, Dulltown, Hull.UK., humour, information, observations, seeing, serendipity, style, surrealism and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s