Not Genesis then?…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s old black and white snapshot is the one of me playing billiards and having a laugh with Marlene Dietrich. (MD)

‘Good afternoon sir, oh, please don’t lean on that 17th c. jelly escritoire, its hind leg is a little bit lame…’
‘Oh, sorry…’
‘And what can I do for you sir, this sparkling spring day?’
‘Well, I was thinking about selling my pangolin sideboard.’
‘Oh yes?…’
‘Mm… Yes’
‘Is it on vinyl or on compact disc sir?’
‘You are talking about a 1970s Genesis album?’
‘Phil Collins then?’
‘No, no, it’s a piece of…’
‘Stop, don’t tell me… Let me guess. Is it a poem?’
‘No, it’s…’
‘No, no, wait… Is it a painting by Mednikoff and Pailthorpe… say around 1938?…’
‘I’m afraid not… I don’t expect to get much for it. It’s quite old, I’ve had it for years.’
‘I’m still a little in the dark sir.’
‘I have a picture of it on my phone, if that would help?’
‘Excellent, yes, let me have a look.’
‘Here you are… Oh, not that one – that’s my wife’s corporate manifesto… I think it’s two or three further back.’
‘Oh, that one… Is that your wife’s foot?…’
‘Er, yes it is… Ah look, here it is, leaning against the tumble drier in the back utility room, you must pardon the mess.’
‘Well, I must say, it is most impressive!’
‘Isn’t it just!’
‘I still don’t know what it is though… but lovely workmanship!’
‘It’ll be a wrench…’
‘…to part with it.’
‘Yes, of course, are the finials original?’
‘So they say…’
‘Do they indeed?… What about the cork domes?’
‘Oh, I added those in 1974.’
‘Really? You see, normally that would reduce the value, but in this case, because it adds to the…’
‘What about a part-ex?’
‘A part-ex, what had you in mind?’
‘Is it getting a bit warm in here?’
‘Yes, I’m sorry sir, it’s the Chippendale burner, it can’t adjust to the change of season.’
‘I do understand, mine’s the same.’
‘You have one too?’
‘Not exactly, mine burns Sheraton – gives a good heat does Sheraton!’
‘Indeed it does sir. Look, how about a straight swap for that bamboo brass section, over there, by the green grandfather clocks?’
‘Brass section?’
‘Yes, well not strictly all brass, there is a reed instrument, a saxophone, in amongst them.’
‘Hm, baritone by the look of it… I’m tempted, but what does it sound like?’
‘Well, better than Phil Collins, but it’s not really a ‘playing ensemble’, more of a decorative sort of thing for the real bamboo enthusiast.’
‘Oh, what’s that over in the corner – there, by that nice cheese spaniel?’
‘Aha! Now that is right up your street sir – it’s a paradox in a glass dome. By the way, do you like Genesis?’
‘I can take them or leave them.’
‘Same here sir.’
Victorian, is it?’
‘Oh yes, a fine example.’
‘Those Victorians were buggers for their domed paradoxes.’
‘Indeed they were sir. Er, would you mind if I had another look at your wife’s foot picture?’
‘No, no, go ahead. I could email you it if you like.’
‘You really are a gentleman sir! So, about the paradox?’
‘It looks a bit misted up on the inside.’
‘Yes sir, but that’s only to be expected – a paradox over the years will always generate a little steam.’
‘Oh alright, you smooth talking devil, it’s a deal!’
‘Good for you sir! Look, you’ve been very good showing me your wife’s foot and all… I’ll throw in the cheese spaniel as well.’
‘That is most descent of you.’
‘I’ll come round in the pony and trap with them first thing in the morning, and I can pick up your pangolin sideboard… Will your good wife be at home by any chance?’

(Pailthorpe and Mednikoff)

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in art, brain, conversation, drama, dreaming, existentialism, humour, information, painting, story, surrealism, words and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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