Stella has something in her bag…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe|: Today’s adjectives are: brimming, risible, featous, captivating, pugging and chirpy.
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P8300003Landscape No 9. (1990). Charcoal and pencil on paper, about 24″ x 18″.

‘Good morning Stella my dear, do come in…’
‘What’s the hell is the matter with you today?’
‘Nothing, I’m just being polite…’
‘Hm…’
‘Oh, what have you got there, in your bag?’
‘Get the kettle on David, I’m parched… What’s this?…’
‘Your bag has a definite bulge in it Stella. This is one of my early drawings, from back in…’
‘Don’t just stand there like a spare priest at a wedding, get some tea made!’
‘A spare pr…?’
‘Hm… An early drawing you say? Very interesting…’
‘Is it?…’
‘Yes, over the years you seem to have gradually got better… and worse… at the same time.’
‘Really?… So, what do you have in your bag Stella?’
‘Yes, you obviously had more liveliness and imagination back then, but less skill, now you’ve lost all that…’
‘Why thank you Stella…’
‘You’re welcome! In my bag? It’s a surprise, we won’t be needing any biscuits with our tea today David.’
‘No?’
‘No… Is this another of your chaotic, ‘green message’, mad cities, all hell and no notion?’
‘No notion?’
‘No, no notion… Where’s my beverage?’
‘Here… it’s a pint mug, that should keep you going. I think the milk is alright, I did sniff it, it was alright last night.’
‘You are very fond of the striking ‘handless clock motif’ aren’t you David? It keeps cropping up. Time marching on, the terrified wage-slave salarymen looking at their watches as they frantically scurry about the vermin infested pavements.’
‘Yes, and it also represents… Oh!… It’s a big Easter egg!…
‘Yes, I thought that we’d have some of it instead of biscuits today.’
‘Oh, right… That’s unusually generous of you my dear… Hang on, we’re almost at the end of May now, Easter was ages ago…’
‘Are you saying that you don’t want any of it David?…’
‘Well, no…’
‘There’s quite a lot of movement in it?’
‘What, the egg?’
‘No, you cretin, your drawing. Screaming packed streets heaving with stinking vehicles, the tilted architectural geometry of recent, and imminent, disaster… Oh, nice hexagonal prism David! I do like the rivets… Here, have a piece of egg…’
‘Thank you Stella… Hey, the chocolate’s got a white filmy deposit on it…’
‘It’s alright, it’s just the sugar coming out, it wont do you any harm. Clever how you have concentrated the busy buzzing detail in the centre of the seething metropolis, to enhance the linear perspective and to draw one in… Ah, another diagonally striped sky I see…’
‘Yes, I…’
‘You didn’t want to leave it blank, and you didn’t fancy just ordinary clouds?…’
‘Er… yes, that’s right… This egg isn’t too bad after all, where did you get it?’
‘Simon Doom, poet of the Hull Surrealist League, gave me it, he had two of them.’
‘Oh?…’
‘Yes, he found them in a skip behind Tesco’s supermarket.’
‘Oh… right…’
‘They were still in their boxes!’
‘Oh, okay…’

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
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