I have bees in my bird box you know…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s honoured guests are the William Shatner (as he is now) lookalike twins. Welcome Bill and Bill, come on in and sit on the sofa and chat with us for a while.

Well, I didn’t have any cheese last night, so where did this mad dream spring from? Oh, I did have a Pontefract cake mid evening though… (Pomfret Cakes)

So, is this a library?… Well, not the library itself, but we’re on the staircase… the stair-well with polished handrails and balusters of old speckled hardwood… See, the thick doors with their curly bright brass handles and their coloured leaded lights – bottle green ivy and yellow tulips – I suppose the books are behind those… the tomes… who’s this short wiry worried man in a brown suit running down the stairs? He has thinning black and grey hair slicked back – listen to his leather-soled brown brogues clatter down the treads. He rushes down two flights and swiftly disappears through a door with a large frosted glass window in it – no, I’m sorry I just can’t make out what the lettering on it says… goodness me, how the slam of the door echoes up the atrium… no, of course it’s not an atrium at all. So, we turn right and bump, and pull into a triangular grey area off the main road… is it a car park or isn’t it? Are we still on the main road?… Yes, alright, I understand, I’ll wait in your white car until you come back… You know, I think I might have been asleep… What town is this now? Look there’s a blue and grey double-decker bus going past with the word Solihull on the front (S) So could that be ‘soiled hull’ instead?… Look at the city, spread out in the wobbling hazy distance, it looks like sweaty Los Angeles… but I’m pretty sure it isn’t. How many guitars are there standing up in the back of the car? Four, five? – Look at their necks all sticking up, perhaps I should slip this blanket over them so they are not quite as visible through the…. Now… hang on. Who are these two people? A middle-aged couple standing at the back of the car… No, no, you can’t get in… You want me to drive you where?… The man fixes me with his very round eyes – he looks like that silver-haired American actor who always wears grey suits. No, no, come out of the car, it’s no good sitting there in front of the guitars… and please don’t stare at me with those round fried egg eyes!… I’m not sure if this even is a car park, there are only us in it, but it does have parking places marked in very thick off-white paint on the grey ground – pity we didn’t park a bit more carefully… Look, I’d better get in, you really can’t stay there though, I don’t even know you… Oh, this is your wife? She has very thick curly hair doesn’t she? Oh, that’s a surprise! I see the steering wheel is on the left… Perhaps this isn’t Solihull at all… Where was it you wanted to go?… Listen… No, listen… I can hear the blackbirds singing now… Oh, they start so very early in the morning… Apparently it’s the solstice… I have bees in my bird box you know… This is a… a very small car…

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in books, brain, drama, dreaming, Dulltown, food, guitars, Hull.UK., humour, information, mind, serendipity, surrealism and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to I have bees in my bird box you know…

  1. Michael says:

    I adore Pontefract cakes, and and thoroughly recommend Haribo ‘authentic’. Yum.

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