Some short, but pithy items…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s 19th c. English expletive is Cheese and crust! – an obvious euphemism for Jesus Christ.

Excuses for being late. No. 255.
I’m sorry I’m late, but I found a live mongoose in my cabinet of curiosities.

I’m thinking of changing my name to Hugh Jelpings.

A single overheard remark:
‘What?… A hairy wall?…’

‘So… ants and spiders, they are very small?’
‘Yes, of course.’
‘…and they have tiny little eyes, for looking at tiny things?’
‘I suppose so…’
‘So, they can see individual atoms and molecules then?’
‘Er… Yes… Definitely!’
‘Thought so…’

An observation:
Everyone in town today looked like a close relative of the people in Picasso’s painting Les Demoiselles d’Avignon. (Painting)

Looking out of the cafe window yesterday afternoon I spotted a brief, but nicely surreal scene being acted out in the car park below. There was a big chubby grey car with its rear door up. A middle-aged couple were having great difficulty trying to push a large (about five feet in diameter) black and white clock face into the vehicle; it had no hands, but featured a traditional chapter ring of Roman numerals. Unfortunately I couldn’t manage a photograph of the event for you.

A single overheard remark:
‘I want everything to be, like classy… You know warra mean?…’

He ran up the metal ladder noisily – rung… rung… rung… rung…

A single overheard remark:
‘But I did have my big wheels on it!…’

‘I’m sorry I’m late.’
‘You’re not late.’
‘Well, I am, by a minute or two…’
‘Are you engaging in competitive punctuality?…’
‘Possibly… What’s the time now?…’



About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in brain, conversation, drama, dreaming, expletives, Hull.UK., humour, information, mind, observations, painting, people, physics, seeing, serendipity, style, surrealism and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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