‘No, it was a robot head!…’

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s expletive is ‘By Gum!’ – an English oath once popular in the north of the country; a contraction of ‘God Almighty’ or ‘God Save Me’.
By gum, I think I’ll try to use it today…

The other afternoon, as it was persisting down with rain outside, I decided to postpone my shopping trip for an hour or so. I switched the TV on to see if there was anything available to pass the time.
Aha! What’s this on Horror Channel 70? A film with the unlikely title of Stonehenge Apocalypse (TV movie 2010) I can’t resist that! Perhaps I should give it my full attention and take notes:

‘A strong electromagnetic burst on the Earth’s energy grid running from Maine to England…’
‘An ancient civilisation?’
‘Stonehenge was more than a temple, it was…’
‘Ah, ah… Arghh…’
‘Kinda freaky, haven’t heard anything from the government…’
‘Aliens on the Moon? No, it was a robot head…’
‘Stonehenge moved?… Where? To Pittsburgh?’
‘Tourists got killed… Meet me at the airport!’
‘I’ve found something big! These wavelengths are structured… awash with heavy interference…’
‘Inside Stonehenge? That sounds creepy!… Seismic eruption?’
‘A scan of the altar stone – we need to figure this out quickly!’
‘I’m not making this up! Stonehenge has moved… electromagnetic currents!’
‘The soil is coloured! Milligauss… a hundred gigahertz… Everyone outa here!’
‘Yucatan pyramid Mexico? Deep underground – Oh my God!…’
‘We have a massive field of energy here!’
‘Put you hands in the air!…’
‘It’s counting down!…’ ‘To what?…’
‘Yucatan to Stonehenge – a nutcase!’
‘Generated by the poles… His brain went pear-shaped… Pyramids!’
‘The soil is turning purple… The missing piece of the puzzle…’
‘What the devil is going on Doctor?… Radio wave deflection between the stones… a cataclysmic event!’
‘Doctor Leeds!’
‘Detonate! – A surface magnetic field repelled the blast!’
‘The prophesy, the symbol of the scroll, the power source, the key… The Antikythera mechanism!…’
‘Get him outa here!… Turn off Stonehenge! It’s a planetary emergency!’
‘Nuke Stonehenge? You’re joking! My God!… This is gonna sound so crazy!’
‘The stones are shortening their wavelength – Gamma waves General!’
‘Incredible! – Get out of here! The world is dying – but when the new world arises…’
‘What do pyramids have to do with anything?’
‘Pick it up on your little meter – Copernicus… Galileo…’
‘To the underground chamber! Whoa!… Something’s happening!… Holy crap!…’
‘Nuking Stonehenge might backfire on us! The primordial hill? He’s got the mechanism!…’
‘He’s in the woods! The altar stone is glowing! Look at the energy grid! Sucking up the planet’s energy! We’re evacuating!…’
‘You and your so-called pure spirit!… Freeze!…’
‘We have the mechanism – the cult leader is dead – cancel the strike!’
‘You are all crazy – God be with you…’
‘Emanating from Sal-is-bury Plain – a Stonehenge apocalypse… An extra-terrestrial apparatus…’
‘You son of a bitch, you’re not a scientist! – Look out, he’s got a gun!’
‘Arghh!… Drop the damn bomb!… The Antikythera key…’
‘Releasing missile…’
‘Volcanic eruptions and tremors have stopped… the ashes clear from the atmosphere…’
‘He sacrificed himself to save the planet… This is the real story…’


About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in archeology, brain, conversation, drama, expletives, Film, history, humour, information, physics, story, style, TV and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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