Good God! The art’s moving about!…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s instruction is to phone up the Prime Minister and ask him what he’s got planned for when all the bees have died and we’ve got nothing to eat.

Hm… Yes… sloping…
You may recall that four or five days ago I was enjoying a rant about how a large steel sculpture had been placed outside an art gallery in Leeds (60 miles west of Dulltown), and that they hadn’t bothered to arrange for it to be installed level on the sloping pavement. (Link)
Yesterday I was thinking about that piece again, and the fact that the sculpture was tilted really did devalue its aesthetics – it made it look ‘temporary’ and a bit ‘cheap’. I said in my post something about how you wouldn’t hang your favourite Rembrandt at a slant.
Wouldn’t it be a strange sight to see a room of an art gallery full of paintings, but with them all hanging askew? It would be quite strange and unsettling wouldn’t it? Imagine walking round looking at each painting in turn, probably with your head bobbing from side to side trying to give them the viewing that they deserve.
We are so used to seeing works hanging perfectly horizontal, we take it for granted – except perhaps in junk shops, and sloppy people’s homes I suppose. Even a degree or two out of true spoils the viewing experience… It’s a bit like when people show you their wobbly photos taken on their phones…
Oh gosh!… I’ve just had an idea for an art installation… No, yes, really!… An installation? That’s not like me at all… Of course this could only happen if I had the right connections in the art world, and plenty of money to do it, but let’s press on dear reader, as if I had.
We take a room in an art gallery, perhaps the local one here in Dulltown, the Ferens; we use some paintings from their permanent collection, I think I’d like some Victorian ones, maybe a Lord Leighton or two – oh, and some early 20th c. British ones, that Percy Wyndham Lewis one would be nice – but we re-hang them all with specially designed hook things. I’m sure I could come up with a design for those… radio-controlled, batteries, servo motors, and such like.
What the visitor experiences: We walk into the room, we look around, and see pictures on the walls as normal. After a few minutes, say five or ten, a bell rings… Ding!… All the pictures suddenly tilt on their clever little hidden mechanical hooks; some tilt a little, some a bit more – some to the left, some to the right, and then they stop and remain motionless. After another period of five or ten minutes, ding!… They all go back as they were… This cycle would be repeated through the day; oh, and ‘no painting would be harmed or suffer any distress during this installation’. Imagine the shock of seeing them all tilting in unison before your very eyes – oh, so unsettling!… People would jump and gasp!… Is this surrealism?… Is this an earthquake?… Hope my car’s alright…
What do you think? Me? I’d definitely go and see it… Perhaps it would also say something pithy about the concept of looking at art… or am I getting a bit above myself?…

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in art, brain, cool, drama, dreaming, humour, information, mind, observations, painting, sculpture, seeing, surrealism and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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