Albert, what’s that funny smell?…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s honoured guests are the Donald Trump lookalike twins, Bob and Clarissa Fudgel. Come on in, and sit with us on the sofa, you two beaming scallywags… Hm, nice hair!…
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Hm, what’s this drab-looking thing sticking its cream-coloured spine out slightly from my bookshelf? Oh yes, of course, It’s my copy of that nice old junk shop book, The 1954 Gadgets Annual – Good old W. N. Shaw!…

DSCN3900Here is a picture of the title page – the book probably once had a nicely illustrated dust cover, but sadly that is long gone, so you’ll have to make do with this my dear reader. The book and it’s companion magazine seem to be out to promote old-style frugality and ingenuity in equal measure. The 1950s, as Britain was struggling to recover from WWII, was apparently a time when folk mended broken things instead of throwing them out, and devised money-saving and useful items for the home, and of course for the little workshop, out there in the garden shed…

WP DSCN3905‘Albert!…’
‘Yes dear?…’
‘I can smell burning… What are you doing?’
‘Oh, nothing dear, just a small problem with the electric fire in the…’
‘Albert! The wallpaper’s on fire!…’
‘No, Madge, only a little bit of it – we do have a spare roll-end of that pattern, it will only take me a minute or two to replace the… slightly scorched bits… See, now I’ve turned the power off, the flames have already gone out…’
‘What’s this on the table Albert?…’
‘It’s the plug off the electric fire, I thought I’d replace it with one of my own, it’s made from…’
‘Albert!’
‘Yes dear?’
‘I’m going out shopping now, and when I get back I’ll expect to see the wallpaper spotlessly repaired, and the proper plug put back on the fire… Do you understand me?’
‘Yes, of course dear…’
‘Madge…’
‘Yes Albert?’
‘Whilst you are out, could you get me half an ounce of Old Shag?’
‘Hm…’

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in archeology, art, books, brain, conversation, design, drama, history, humour, information, reading, smoking, surrealism, war and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Albert, what’s that funny smell?…

  1. Wonderful. Just what I need to make to finish my glove and handkerchief drier!

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