Some titchy, but pithy items…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s unusual pencil sharpener is the one shaped like a bag of rotten tomatoes.

Excuses for being late. No. 262.
I’m sorry I’m late, but I was up all night looking for exoplanets.
(Spell-checker just wanted to change ‘exoplanets’ to ‘eggplants’.)

A single overheard remark:
‘Carla! Will you not go out of sight please!…’

‘Hm… You smell very nice!’
‘Thank you, it’s my new perfume.’
‘Oh? What’s it called?’
‘”Fried Food”…’
‘Hm… I like it!…’

I just been watching a science documentary on the TV. I noticed that the presenter Professor Marcus du Sautoy has a lot of trouble pronouncing the word ‘nucleus’ – for some reason he says ‘newk-yul-us’ – you’d think, being a professor of mathematics and all, he would have sorted that out years ago. Come on Marcus, after me… new-klee-us – it’s easy, try it yourself… (MdS)

‘So Quibb, this planet ‘Earth’ that you’ve been observing, what’s it like?’
‘Well Chogg, it’s pretty ordinary really.’
‘What about these ‘Humans’ that you mentioned?’
‘They are a very odd bunch, a very small percentage of them are really very clever and bright, but the majority are remarkably stupid and backward.’
‘The bright ones being the scientists, the philosophers, the writers, the artists, and the politicians I suppose?’
‘Well, you are mostly right, but the politicians are in with the stupid and backward ones.’
‘That’s unusual…’
‘Yes Chogg, it is, isn’t it?’
‘So there’s no hope for them then?’
‘No, not really…’

Hull City Council seem to have suddenly developed a sense of irony. The plan for the regeneration of the city centre has been named ‘Destination Hull’ with a logo featuring a tangle of lines and a big arrow pointing downwards…

A single overheard remark:
‘He was full of cheque book innuendo…’

Did you know that the little emblems on the sides of men’s socks are called ‘clocks’? I’ve always fancied having a pair with clocks in the shape of clocks on them – they’d be clock clocks.

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in advertising, brain, conversation, drama, dreaming, Dulltown, existentialism, fashion, food, Hull.UK., humour, information, irony, observations, overheard, physics, serendipity, style, surrealism, TV, words and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Some titchy, but pithy items…

  1. memadtwo says:

    Perhaps the Professor has been taking elocution lessons from certain American politicians…

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