‘Jumbo-Huge’ sounds impressive…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s existential angst is centred around the word ‘ample’.

Right then… switch the TV on… Hm… What’s the time?… Now, let’s see… ‘Cats Make You Laugh Out Loud’, ‘The Man With Iron Fists’, ’24 Hours in A&E’, Millionaire Matchmaker’, ‘Most Shocking’, ‘Evil Up Close’… Oh, but what’s this stapled into the centre pages my copy of What’s On TV? It’s set of smaller sized pages with some super What’s On TV bargains advertised in them. I wonder if there is anything here that I might want…
How about a pair of ‘the world’s lightest warmest and most comfortable all-weather beating “ShoeBoots“? They are only £7.99 a pair.
Hm… So, let’s see what else is available:

Two Solar Parrots, to bring a bit of fun and colour to your garden. £11.49.
A ‘rollaway’ padded footstool, complete with drawers and a magazine rack. £16.49.
A million candlepower spotlight – only £8.99.
‘Walking On Air’ men’s velcro shoes. £8.99.
A ‘Wind Releasing’ umbrella. £6.99.
Titanium 300 piece drill set. £4.99.
‘Gentle-Grip’ socks. Set of six – £6.49.
‘Jumbo-Huge’ rollaway storage chest. £9.99.
Soft ‘noiseless’ incontinence briefs, for men and women. £5.99.
Sherpa Fleecy back pillow. £8.99.
‘Wibbly-Wobbly Weasel’  – bring fun back into your pet’s life. £3.49.
‘Frosty Bill’ winter cap. £4.99.
“Don’t touch my food” raging monkey. £9.49.
Thermal fleecy pet cave. £12.49.
3 Xtra-Wide ‘Pierre Bartienne’ braces. £7.49.

Hm… I just can’t make up my mind… I am drawn to those Titanium drill bits, but I wonder what the quality of the steel will be like at a fiver for 300 of them… Perhaps I’ll just order the Wind Releasing Umbrella instead…


About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in advertising, brain, dreaming, existentialism, Grumpiness, humour, information, observations, reading, serendipity, surrealism, TV, words and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to ‘Jumbo-Huge’ sounds impressive…

  1. memadtwo says:

    A surrealist poem. I like it.

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