Doom and the pipes…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s giant panda is the one smoking a cigar in the back of that shiny black Rolls Royce.

Tooting on pan pipes in the street is alright I suppose, but I’m not very keen on those pan pipe bands who have very loud battery-operated PA systems which play thudding and booming bass and drums backing tracks. There was such a band in the town centre yesterday afternoon. As I scurried past, trying to keep out of range, the pipes suddenly faded out, then the backing track was switched off, and then a lot of shouting and swearing ensued – one voice was in English, but the rest were in some rich Latin-sounding language.
I was curious, and I stopped (I was on my way to buy a packet of Swann-Morton blades) and I looked across to see what had occurred.
There was much pan pipe waving and gesturing from the musicians which seemed to be directed at someone flapping a piece of paper at them, a swaying giggling scruffily dressed chap whom I recognised. It was Simon Doom, poet from the glory days of the Hull Surrealist League.
He spotted me. ‘Hello Dave!…’ he shouted.
The band members all paused in their shouting and turned and glared at me. I decided to continue on my way. After a few steps I received a painful slap on the back as Doom caught up with me, he smelled of pubs and beer. He said that he was only joining in with the nice music, and didn’t see why they should have been so shirty with him. He apparently upset the chaps by standing centre-stage in front of them and repeatedly shouting out his latest spoem (spoof poem) in time with their music…

Tangs tines tomes tongs tongues,
Rubber rubber rubber rubber thud!
Plangent tangent palps Alps talc,
Shrubbery shrubbery shrubbery shrubbery.

Chancel cancel stencil propelling pencil,
Rubber rubber rubber rubber twang!
Chocs pox clocks box fox ox,
Bamboo bamboo bamboo bamboo.

Crumb crime crow stow cleat clot,
Rubber rubber rubber rubber hum!
Zoom zoo azure room stew flue,
Grammar grammar grammar grammar.

Mound mould gold solid solder soldier,
Rubber rubber rubber rubber smack!
Brandy branch blanch fool’s apple sop,
Tussle tussle tussle tussle, tangs…

Simon Doom. 2015.

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
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