Cooking fat in an emergency…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s honoured guests are the Alfred Hitchcock lookalike twins Clara and Maurice Trunker – come on in, you pair of scallywags, and sit there on the sofa next to His Grace the Archbishop…

It looks a nondescript little book, The 1954 Gadgets Annual – a drab red cloth-covered hardback with a cream spine – it probably had a nicely illustrated dust cover once, but sadly that is now missing. It is, of course, a collection of the best items from the very popular Gadgets Magazine of that year; a time after the end of WWII when money was short and people would mend things that were broken, and not just throw them into landfills as we do today; also people would make handy and useful items in their garden sheds for use around the home, and they would cheerfully devise ways of being thrifty. Here are a few items picked at random from these yellowing pages: A potato-scraping gadget, Toothpaste removes ‘rings’ on furniture, Make a useful tool from a tin lid, A tape-edged blotter for tidiness, A neat bottle drying rack, etc. Here is a picture of the title page.

DSCN3900Shall we have a look at page 34?

WP DSCN4102‘Albert, I’m home…’
‘Ah, hello Madge my dear.’
‘Albert! What’s that smell?… Are you frying something?’
‘No, dear, I’m just…’
‘Goodness me, what a fug!… Let me open some windows…’
‘Oh, it’s nothing to worry about dear, it’ll soon clear, why don’t you go and…’
‘That’s my best saucepan! What’s that… that thing… bubbling away in it?’
‘I was reading Gadgets Magazine and I…’
‘Oh, that stupid rag!’
‘But Madge, sometimes it has some really fascinating and…’
‘What a terrible stench!… Albert!… Turn the gas off and take it outside… Now!…’
‘It’s only the chain off my bicycle, it needed a good…’
‘I don’t care what it needed… I’ll never get that smell out of the curtains!…’
‘The pan will clean up again though, all I need to do is…’
‘Albert!… Just look at your filthy hands!… ‘


About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in books, conversation, drama, Grumpiness, history, humour, information, learning, surrealism, war and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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