Stella and the approaching footstep…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s expletive is gordelpus! – a Victorian Cockney oath (the stress is on the ‘elp’) – a nice corruption of ‘God help us’.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

P7120011‘The Approaching Footstep’ (2010), after Thomas Brooks (1818 – 1891), charcoal on paper about 20″ x 14″. (T.A.F.)

‘Ah, Stella my dear, good morning, you are earlier than I expected…’
‘Why? What time did you expect me?…’
‘Well, I don’t know, but usually, you…’
‘David! Just stop blethering and get the kettle on, I need tea!’
‘Right ho… Hm… you look a little bit, er, tired Stella…’
‘Shut up! Have you got butter in the house?’
‘Er, yes…’
‘Good, I’ll have some hot buttered toast.’
‘Will you?…’
‘What the hell is this?’
‘It’s a drawing.’
‘I can see that. Have you put the toast on yet?’
‘I’m just doing it, did you have a late night?’
‘Yes, I’ve not been home yet – there was a party round at Tony Mayonnaise’s place, it was marvellous, he’s a well-known local surrealist poet you know… ‘
‘Really, is he?…’
‘Yes, he’s brilliant, I’m surprised that I didn’t see you there… This is a copy of a naff Victorian painting in the local art gallery isn’t it?’
‘Possibly… Here’s your tea and toast, you gannet!… and it’s not a naff painting, it’s a pretty good painting.’
‘Ha! If you like that sort of schmaltz!… I expect that you did it from a postcard.’
‘No, I went and asked permission and set my easel up in front of it in the gallery.’
‘Shut up you oaf! I think I’ll have some more toast now…’
‘Really? …and another tea?’
‘Of course, and be quick about it… Looks like the girls are standing in front of a painted backdrop David, I’ll bet the original doesn’t look like that, they could draw and paint back in those days. Hm, and I can see that you struggled with the faces…
‘Can you?’
‘Yes, and those hands are a bit funny…’
‘How very nice of you to mention it dear Stella…’
‘Yes, but you made a fairly good job of the little dog… I like the little dog, and those animals in the distance, whatever they are… Anyway, why do you do things like this? Just copying someone else’s work?… It’s like cheating, I suppose you do it when you run out of decent ideas, and you are desperate just to draw something…’
‘Here’s your toast, you greedy great hog!…’

Naff.

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in art, brain, conversation, drawing, expletives, fashion, food, Grumpiness, history, humour, information, learning, painting, poetry, style, surrealism, words and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Stella and the approaching footstep…

  1. Brilliant! The original by TB reminds me of our guinea pigs…

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