One or two shortish items…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s fine expletives are… F*** and C***.
Oh, don’t you just hate these prissy asterisks? If you are going to say it, say it, don’t faff around with half saying it! Apparently in Britain until 1960 it was illegal to print the words fuck and cunt in text, except in reprints of earthy old classics, apparently it was allowed in the work of Chaucer, et al… I suppose they thought that the sort of people who regularly dip into Chaucer would be far too intelligent and sophisticated to be shocked or upset by these nasty coarse words of the lower classes…

Excuses for being late. No. 267.
I’m sorry I’m late, but I was darkening my eyebrows with burnt cork.

A single overheard (possibly misheard) remark:
‘I started washing bubble box…’

Sitting on the top deck of a bus waiting in the Dulltown Interchange I was watching the sun go down, and musing on God sweeping up the day’s used clouds from the sky and piling them up in the west at the bright open door of hell’s great furnace… Ah good, we are moving now.

I haven’t seen him for yonks…
Yonks, meaning ‘for a while’ or ‘for ages’ is a British English word unknown in the US. No-one seems to know its origin, but there is a suggestion that it might be a strange contraction of ‘donkey’s years’. Isn’t it a great word? Come on, let’s keep it in circulation – I’m going to use it today!… I wonder if it has anything to do with Yonkers, New York?

An observation:
An old chap, long white hair, white beard, was walking across the square; he seemed a bit timid and looked like he was trying to avoid vibration of any kind; he walked holding his head perfectly level, with no up and down movement at all, and with his little expensively shod feet flicking smoothly backwards and forwards as he proceeded. He looked like he was on wheels; he successfully circumnavigated an energetic young female chugger, cutting her dead with not even a nod.
(Chugger – charity mugger)

So, what could I be watching on TV tonight?
Hm, let’s see now, Five Star, (Freeview channel 30):
6 pm: Baby Faced Brides.
7 pm: The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door.
8 pm: Left For Dead By The Yorkshire Ripper.
9 pm: Killer Psychopaths.
10 pm: Born To Kill?
11 pm: Born To Kill?
12 midnight: Killing Spree.
1 am: Wentworth Prison, and
2 am: Ridiculousness

A single overheard remark:
‘I think he knows every other fish anyway…’

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in advertising, brain, conversation, cool, dreaming, Dulltown, existentialism, expletives, history, Hull.UK., humour, information, learning, misheard, observations, overheard, people, seeing, serendipity, style, surrealism, TV, words and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to One or two shortish items…

  1. memadtwo says:

    “chugger”…I like that too. Those people deserve no nods, in fact sullen glares work well too.

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