Some items from ‘Enquire Within’. (2)…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s weather will have an active vertical liquid component, with side draughts of trembling leaves, momentary hemispherical pond bubbles, and rat-a-tat tapping on window panes.

Shall we today look at another of my tatty old junk shop books dear reader? How about this copy of the Daily Express Enquire Within from 1934? As the cover is very plain, here is a picture of the title page which has a lovely globe logo…(Lovely globe logo, what a messy combination of words! Try saying it very fast, several times…)

DSCN4009Let’s just thumb through and discover one or two amusing and informative entries:

Page 373.
The Split Infinitive.
This very common error should be avoided. An example is given on page 371 (No. 52). To place an adverb between “To” – the sign of the infinitive mood – and the verb is incorrect. “To hastily conclude,” “To foolishly insist,” are other examples of wrong usage.

Page 190.
Waltz Cotillion.
First couple waltz around inside; first and second ladies advance twice and cross over, turning twice; first and second gentlemen do the same; first and second couples waltz to places, third and fourth do the same; all waltz to partners and turn half round with both hands, meeting the next lady; perform this figure until in your places; form two side lines, all advance twice; the same returning; all waltz round; the whole repeated four times.

Page 414.
Chesterfields and Settees,
covered with cloth, damask, or chintz, will look better for being cleaned occasionally with bran and flannel.

Page 451.
To Clean Stuffed Animals, &c.
First brush the specimen well with a clothes brush. Then put some new bran into a pan and warm it, stirring it well to prevent burning. Rub the warm bran into the fur with your hand. Do this three or four times, and then brush the fur until the bran is out.

Page 349.
Addresses of Persons of Rank and Distinction.
The King or Queen. – Superscription. – To the King’s (Queen’s) Most Excellent Majesty, or His (Her) Most Gracious Majesty King [George V] (Queen [Mary]).
Commencement. – “Sir” or “Madam”; “May it please Your Majesty.”
Conclusion. – “I remain, with the profoundest veneration, Your Majesty’s most faithful subject and dutiful servant.” *

*I hope I never have to meet one of ’em…

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
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