A few more shortish items…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s elephant in the room is the one attempting to sit on the small wicker chair by the window.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Excuses for being late. No. 270.
I’m sorry I’m late, but there was a wasp in one of my wellingtons.

A single overheard remark:
‘Lucifer’s not coming tonight…’

An observation:
The other day I saw that someone had got rid of an old microwave oven by placing it on the pavement outside their house a few yards down from me. Nothing really very unusual there, but I noticed in passing that they had at some time in its working life drilled two holes in the top of the steel casing, fed a couple of wires out from the inside and connected them together using a small white plastic switch, the sort that you might see on the lead to a table lamp. Obviously the original switch in the door mechanism of the oven had failed at some point and this was a makeshift replacement. How very practically minded of whoever it was…
Yesterday when I went out, the oven was still sitting there, but I noticed that since I last saw it the two wires had been snipped, and that someone had gone off with the switch, probably for use in some similar dangerous project of their own…

A single overheard remark:
‘Arran! Do you want a smacked bum?!…’

‘So, you know, in the bible…’
‘Eh?…’
‘When those chaps were put in the fiery furnace, for their beliefs…’
‘Yes?’
‘And they didn’t burn or suffer…’
‘Yes?’
‘Is that where the Calm Alight Monks got their name?’
‘Yes, that’s right…’

He really was a bit of a stickler for his music. He used to regularly take a nice bunch of flowers to concerts to present to the soloist; he’d sit in a front seat with them so that they’d be visible from the stage, but at the end he’d usually walk out, taking them with him, and later drop them in at the nearby hospital on his way home…

An observation:
Oh look! There’s Matt LeBlanc… him from Friends… waiting at the bus stop… Him, the one eating chips and tomato sauce from a plastic tray. I’m sure it’s him! They won’t let him on the bus with hot food you know… There’ll be trouble… Let’s stand and watch…

‘Dave…’
‘What?’
‘Do you think you’ll ever grow up?’
‘Hell, I hope not…’

 

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in conversation, cool, existentialism, Hull.UK., humour, information, misheard, observations, overheard, religion, serendipity, surrealism and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s