Some smallish items…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s Christmas card is the one which sheds its bloody green glitter everywhere…
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Excuses for being late. No. 276.
I’m sorry I’m late, but I was foolishly mixing up my cosines and tangents.

A single overheard remark:
‘But when you have good proper nice honey…’

I was reading a Sherlock Holmes story last week. I came across a word I’d never heard before. Watson was describing the new client who had just entered the flat at 221B. He described the chap, and included the words, ‘… he carried a brown wideawake…’
A ‘wideawake’? What could that be? I later looked it up and discovered that it is a ‘wide felt hat with a low crown and a wide brim’. Gosh, I wonder how it got that name?… (W)

I see that, according to the poster on the bus, Winfields are selling something called Cortez Octagons for £299… I wonder what they are? At £299 they do sound a bit expensive though, whatever they are…

Excuse me a moment, I’ve just got to pop over there and tell those youths how silly their sticking up hair looks…

Oh, hello! What’s this in my comments box? Ah, an item of spam from someone called Islimousineca:
‘Hope the above ideas helps you loot in attaining healthier and happier life together with the required self worth which is far vital…’
‘Far vital’ indeed Islimousineca – thank you, I will certainly bear in mind what you have said, and I do hope to hear from you again soon.

An observation:
Good god! What’s that?… Oh, it’s only a man clipping a privet hedge. He’s standing on a pair of small steps and wearing a big green sun hat; the sun hat is exactly the same colour as the hedge, it blends in, and from over here it looks like a ghostly headless chap happily doing a bit of gardening.

An observation:
Tuesday I saw Keith Richards in Dulltown. I’m pretty sure it was him, he was pushing a pram with a pair of small twins in it. When he pulled his cigarettes from his pocket a plectrum fell out onto the pavement – I picked it up and ran after him to return it, but he said he didn’t want it, and told me to fuck off…

A single overheard remark:
‘The dentist told me I should buy some incidental brushes…’

 

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in advertising, brain, conversation, cool, Dulltown, existentialism, expletives, fashion, history, Hull.UK., humour, information, learning, observations, overheard, seeing, serendipity, surrealism, words and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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