Some shortish items…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s heraldic term is Pellet: a black roundel.
You might need to know what a roundel is. Roundel: a circular charge.
But you might also be curious as to what a charge is. Charge: a device on a shield or other item.
Good, I’m glad we’ve got that all sorted out – isn’t the language of heraldry marvellous?…

Excuses for being late. No. 278.
I’m sorry I’m late, but I had to grease my universal joint.

Have you noticed that journalists seem to be very scared of the past tense?
They are all so desperately competitive; they always want to appear as being ‘up to the minute’ with ‘breaking news’.
Sadly David Bowie died on Sunday 10th of January, but all the next day, the Monday, the TV news channels had ‘David Bowie dies’ flitting across their screens, as if he was still dying, as if he was dragging it out all day for the benefit of the media; only after midnight, early on Tuesday morning, did they change it to ‘David Bowie has died’. Why should journalists have their own special form of English?… It is a bit odd… isn’t it?

A single overheard remark:
‘I don’t know where the ‘ell I am with all these bloody bags…’

Oh look, there’s an item of spam in my comments box – it’s another one from someone called nfl jerseys:
‘access time of SDX-700 tape drive is 27 to 37 seconds and its average media loading others may choose to take tips from other online sources. You can write your Comparative essay be competent in structured analysis of system requirements. Object-orientated necessitates a lucid perception of the lifestyle. Many believe that unless we want to miss out on opportunities and things we wish social than they used to be. A brilliant idea is your ticket to a fortune of 90% of’
Well thank you nfl jerseys, I will certainly bear in mind what you have said, and I do hope to hear from you again soon.

‘And what does your dad do?’
‘He shovels stuff around.’
‘Oh?… What sort of stuff?’
‘Money, he shovels money around.’
‘Yes, other people’s money.’
‘Yes, and as part of the job he gets to take plenty of it home with him.’
‘Ah, he’s a banker?’
‘How lovely for you…’

Today’s silly chat-up line:
‘You look nice – I could eat you with a spoon…’

I really hate good tunes, the doctor says I have a melody malady…

A single overheard remark:
‘There’s only one thing that I won’t eat, and that’s…’

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in brain, conversation, Dulltown, existentialism, Grumpiness, heraldry, Hull.UK., humour, information, irony, money, observations, overheard, people, serendipity, sex, surrealism, thinking, words and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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