‘Enquire Within’. (6). But the hoop does not count…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s existential angst is centred around the sound of the word carapace.

Hm, today I find that I have the urge to enquire about something. Perhaps I’ll get out my tattered old junk shop copy of The Daily Express Enquire Within from 1934. It’s a drab reddish-brown volume and it’s not really worth a photograph, but here is a snap showing the title page; nice emblem isn’t it?

Let’s just flick through and pick out some items at random. I’ll include some of the words of wisdom which run across the top of each page too:

Page 14. (The world knows nothing of its greatest men.)
v. The Veiny Piece is sold at a moderate price per pound; but if hung for a day or two, it is very good and very profitable. Where there are a number of servants and children to have an early dinner, this part of beef will be found desirable.

Page 289. (Tell no home secrets out of doors.)
Tonic Aperient. – The following will be found a useful medicine for persons of all ages. Epsom salts one ounce, diluted sulphuric acid one drachm, infusion of quassia chips half an imperial pint, compound tincture of rhubarb two drachms. Dose, half a wineglass twice a day.

Page 124. (Publication of Banns of Marriage commenced in A.D. 1210.)
xii. Should the ball in making its hoop strike another that lies beyond the hoop and then pass through it, the hoop and the hit count to both; but, should any part of the ball that is hit have been lying beneath the hoop, the croquet must be taken, but the hoop does not count.

Page 183. (A cow consumes 100 lbs. of green food daily.)
x. If a player trump by mistake, he may recall his card, and play to the suit, if the card be not covered; but he may be compelled to play the highest or lowest of the suit led, and to play the exposed trump when it is called by his adversaries.

Page 294. (A good book is a light to the soul.)
2. Camphor is not a very steady stimulant, as it’s effect is transitory; but in large doses it acts as a narcotic, abating pain and inducing sleep. In moderate doses it operates as a diaphoretic, diuretic, antispasmodic, increasing the heat of the body, allaying irritation and spasm.

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in books, existentialism, food, history, humour, information, learning, reading, serendipity, surrealism, words and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to ‘Enquire Within’. (6). But the hoop does not count…

  1. memadtwo says:

    page 183 may be needed here in the States…(K)

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