You have very nice MSMs…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s instruction is to spend your whole day in the city or town centre and converse using only the word ‘blah’.

‘It’s the muscles around the mouth…’
‘What is?’
‘They make all the difference you know – they are windows of the soul.’
‘Are they? I thought that the eyes…’
‘No, it’s the muscles around the mouth.’
‘When you are a baby they are completely undeveloped and…’
‘Would you like some more tea?’
‘No thanks, then they gradually develop and change throughout your life.’
‘You don’t say.’
‘I do say, if you do a lot of snarling…’
‘Yes, if you are an arrogant, greedy, snarling person, lacking in generosity and compassion…’
‘Then those particular little pulling and shaping muscles get stronger with regular use.’
‘Go on, do have another cup of tea. It won’t take a minute.’
‘No, no thanks.’
‘Good god no!’
‘…and the shape of your mouth betrays your personality and your attitude to your fellow-man, or woman.’
‘Yes, I suppose so, but what about the other set?’
‘The other set?’
‘Yes, the other set of muscles?…’
‘Aha! Good, you’ve got it. By the way, did you mention fruit cake?’
‘Er… No I didn’t.’
‘No matter… Yes, those smiley muscles that make you look warm and appealing to other people.’
‘But you can’t help the way you look, can you?’
‘Yes, of course you can! After a few years your life is written on your face for all to see. It’s obvious – just look at politicians…’
‘Well I don’t know about that.’
‘Well I do…’
‘I could get fruit cake in for next time you call?’
‘That’s very decent of you. Of course there are a few unfortunate people who…’
‘Yes, the people who never develop their mouth shape muscles.’
‘Mouth shape muscles?’
‘Yes, their MSM.’
‘Have you made that up? MSM – you don’t mean Methylsulfonylmethane then?’
‘Eh?… Er, no… People who appear neither warm and kind, nor mean and manipulative, their MSMs are completely undeveloped, poor things.’
‘Yes, they retain the slack-mouthed look of a small child, or a sullen teenager, unfortunately they never develop an interesting and mature mouth.’
‘Who are these people?’
‘They inevitably become models, religious leaders, or whining pop singers… Do you have cocoa?’
‘As it happens I do. How about a piece of nice Swiss roll to accompany it?’
‘Yes, why not? You know…’
‘You have interesting MSMs…’
‘Do I?…’
‘Yes, they are very nice…’
‘Thank you… I’ll go and get our cocoa and cake…’

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in brain, conversation, drama, humour, information, instruction, observations, smiling, surrealism and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to You have very nice MSMs…

  1. Hahaha! I’m going to try that line on my hubby “You have interesting MSM’s” 😀 And also, have you noticed (as an aside) that a lot of contemporary art faces have sulky or neutral expressions? No matter what the subject is doing, they all have a face like fizz!

  2. memadtwo says:

    “blah” seems about right…

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