Some short, but pithy items…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s instruction is to lay it out flat, measure the intervals accurately and then stick pins in at the nodes. Once inflated, stand well back and throw on the bread crumbs; after a moment or two you can allow people to come into the enclosure.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Excuses for being late. No. 286.
I’m sorry I’m late, but I mislaid one of my galoshes.

A single overheard remark:
‘At least it’s not a broken broken fire, is it?’

‘What’s that on your collar, rabbit fur?’
‘No, hare hair.’
‘Hare hair?…’
‘Yes.’
‘Oh, alright…’

An observation:
Whoa, that was interesting! As I was walking through town I noticed a small dog (I think it might have been a Jack Russell) jumping up and down amusing it’s owner. There was a building site nearby and serendipitously each time the dog landed on the pavement there was a loud bang, like someone hitting a brick wall with a big hammer; the effect was to make the little dog seem very very heavy…

Well, I would go to Australia, but I don’t think I could cope with the sun going across the wrong part of the sky…

Have you noticed how Angela Merkel and Paul McCartney are slowly merging into one person? (A.M.) (P.M.)

‘What are you doing?’
‘I’m cleaning my kitchen sink.’
‘What’s that stuff, that you are scraping from around the taps?’
‘Scum.’
‘What are you going to do with it?’
‘I think I’ll put it into a little bag.’
‘A scumbag?’
‘Yes, of course…’

No, no, surely I must have misheard the title of this afternoon’s film on the TV – The Attack of the Fifty Foot Mormon… Oh, how disappointing! Not ‘Mormon’, it’s ‘Woman’….

‘Yes, super! I really liked the green violins and the orange trumpets.’
‘Green violins and…? What are you talking about?’
‘Well, you were just going on about the rich colour of the orchestration – I was just joining in with your silly statement. Do you actually suffer from synesthesia, or are you just being arty and pretentious?’
‘Oh, shut up!…’
(S)

A single overheard remark:
‘It was glue in the foot holes…’

 

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in art, colours, conversation, dreaming, Film, humour, information, instruction, misheard, music, observations, overheard, serendipity, surrealism, words and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Some short, but pithy items…

  1. There’s a puppeteer in my town just now – but he is very odd. His puppet is not really a puppet, but an extension of the puppeteer, in that whatever the man does, the puppet mimics the movements so they move as one thing. I considered it a comment on society, but I really think its just a lazy man who can’t be bothered pulling strings for people. 🙂

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