Oh, misery and woe…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s wrinkled old black and white snapshot is the one of me sitting with Marilyn Monroe on the edge of a sunlit pool in Los Angeles back in 1958. See, we are wearing matching sunglasses.
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It’s nice to bump into someone you know and have a nice chat…
Notice that I say, a nice chat, and not a miserable one. There are three or four people I know who really enjoy a thoroughly miserable chat. Most people will talk of cheery things with an optimistic tone, and it lifts one’s spirits, but these misery mongers seem to walk about town carrying, in their buzzing bulging heads, stored up tales of woe, illness, ruined holidays, crime, cruelty, Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs, vandalism, banking issues, painful corns, sporting disappointments, Dulltown City Council, rising damp in exterior walls, how rude people have become, the cost of home insurance, and other such depressing things.
They must spot me from across a crowded supermarket and think, Aha!… There’s Dave… He’s a very good listener. I’ll pop over and load him up with some misery… I’ll feel much better after that…
Yes, these people do seem to perk up after the conversation and generally go off smiling, but leave the recipient, often me, thoroughly downcast, with a head full of illness, crime, HMRC, Dulltown City Council, etc… What’s that old proverb, A problem shared is a problem halved? No, it isn’t, it’s a problem doubled, or at least transferred to someone else…
One day, I’ll see one of these people heading towards me, and I’ll snap – before they start giving the pit of bubbling stinking despair a good stirring, I’ll say something like, ‘Hey hang on there my dear ……. (insert name), why don’t you write all this down on some slips of paper, then carefully read through them, and edit them if necessary, then fold them up, form a little pile of them, set a match to them, and let the smoke carry all these troubles up to God – he’s used to dealing with stuff like this, in fact he’s probably responsible for most of it!…’
But I probably won’t say that at all, I’ll stand there with a concerned look on my face, nodding gravely, for however long it takes – then I’ll go and buy some strong remedial chocolate…

 

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in brain, conversation, Grumpiness, humour, information, people, photography and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Oh, misery and woe…

  1. Oh yes, I know these people. And yes, I also stand and listen, wishing I was brave enough to tell them to speak of something more cheerful. But then, we always have chocolate to look forward to as a reward, hehe! 😀

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