Leather, Rivets, and Plywood…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s useful adjectives are: voluble, araeostyle, fidgety, saxicolous, obconic, profulgent, and chubby.

Today I’m in the mood for gadgets – not modern ones such as drones, phones, and things that go ‘ping’, but ones from the last century that can be found in that tattered old junk shop book The 1954 Gadgets Annual. Here’s a picture of the title page:

DSCN3900Ah, 1954, when men in tweeds and brogues, with short smart glossy hair, smoked tobacco pipes, and tinkered and whistled in their garden sheds, cheerfully repairing broken household items, and inventing and constructing useful handy gadgets for use around the house and garden. When they came up with a jolly good idea they would share it with the world by sending it off to be published in the popular Gadgets Magazine.
Let’s quickly dip into these yellowing pages dear reader:
How to Round off Glass Edges, Two Uses for a Door Wedge, Solutions On Tap! (photography), A Remedy for Ladders in Stockings, How to Strengthen Paper Tubes, Cure That Noisy Latch!… etc.
Let’s have a look at page 95:

‘Yes dear?’
‘I wish you wouldn’t have papers and things on the dining table before we’ve finished eating – and what’s that are you scribbling away at?’
‘Well Madge, my dear, as I was waiting for the custard to cool on my apple pie, I was just doing a simple working drawing and a cutting list to make a super item for you, from this month’s copy of…’
‘Not that silly magazine of yours again Albert!’
‘It’s not silly Madge… look, here is a simply-made ‘thong shopping bag’ – it’s very clever, it collapses you see…’
‘Pardon?… What do you mean “no…”?’
‘It’s one of the ugliest things I have ever seen in my life Albert. Can you honestly see me walking down the High Street with… with that?’
‘Ugly?… No, surely not… The plywood base could be painted a pretty colour, you see if…’
‘Hm… Madge, this apple pie is delicious… By the way, I’ve managed to stop the back door latch from rattling…’
‘Have you Albert? That’s good… More custard on your pie?…’
‘Hm… Yes, why not?…’

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in archeology, books, conversation, history, humour, information, surrealism, words and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Leather, Rivets, and Plywood…

  1. I’m with Madge on that bag – its a terrible contraption šŸ˜€ It would make a good……um….tool box?

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