Just click there Professor…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s existential angst is centred around the sound of the word flange.

‘Good morning Professor!’
‘Eh? What?… Who the bloody hell are you?…’
‘It’s me sir…’
‘Ah, Brownlow – I didn’t recognise you with your hood up. Is it raining out there?’
‘No sir, it’s just a little bit…’
‘Damn!… Look here, what’s that, on this email I’ve just received? It’s got a thingy on it!’
‘A ‘thingy’ sir?’
‘Damn it! Yes, that twerp, that computer bloke, who rang last week has sent me an email with this… this thing on it By the way Brownlow, have you got any of those nice biscuits that your Aunt Cissy makes with you today? Fine woman your Aunt Cissy!…’
‘Er, no, sir, I’m afraid not, I…’
‘So how do I…? What do I do with this bloody…?’
‘Just click on that little button and… yes, that’s it sir… look it’s opened up.  I do have half a packet of Pontefract cakes, if you would like a couple of those Professor?…’
What cakes? Oh, liquorice! I will have a couple, thank you Brownlow… Good God! Look at this great long page of drivel he’s sent me!’
‘Yes sir, he is quite verbose isn’t he?… What does he have to say sir?’
‘Let’s see… Apparently he’s an expert on ancient musical instruments.’
‘Yes, he says he’s been researching (I’ll bet he pronounces that re-searching instead of the proper way!) some well-known 19th c. Italian composer who reinvented, or possibly just adapted, an ancient instrument that goes back hundred of years, back to the time of the… Hey!… Pass those liquorice cakes over here Brownlow, don’t you be hogging them all!’
‘Oh, sorry sir… So, why is he emailing us sir?’
‘Well, he says that this composer’s version of the instrument was more strongly-made and a lot more robust than the originals, possibly for travelling musicians to play the chap’s music on all over Europe.’
‘I still don’t see why he’s telling us about it though Professor… it’s not really archeology is it?…’
‘You should bring these liquorice things into the office more often Brownlow, very tasty!’
‘I wouldn’t have too many of them… if I were you sir…’
‘Oh… and why the hell not!’
‘Well, I…’
‘So, this bloody IT geek, in his spare time, has managed to track down one of these things, and he’s offering to bring it round for us to examine… and also for us to listen to… God help us!’
‘I suppose that might be interesting sir.’
‘No, no, no, I don’t really think so Brownlow… We should just ignore all this nonsense.’
‘Sir, perhaps I should just open a file on it, just in case we ever…’
‘Yes, yes, alright… do that…’
‘What name should I give the file sir?’
‘Oh, just something simple like, oh… wordy nerdy sturdy Verdi hurdy gurdy…’
‘Sorry sir, I didn’t quite catch that… wordy what?…’
‘Are you making fun of me Brownlow!’
‘No sir, not at all… Look, please have the last liquorice cake…’

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in archeology, brain, conversation, drama, existentialism, food, Grumpiness, history, humour, information, music, surrealism, words and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Just click there Professor…

  1. You should write a little book of short stories y’know. 😀

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s