Some snatches of overheard and misheard cafe conversation…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s honoured guests are the Richard Branson lookalike twins Steven and Maud Snatch. Come on in! Oh, what a swanky walk you both have! Here, sit on the sofa, talk to us, and grin for all you are worth… (RB)
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The first part of today’s snatches of overheard conversation is unfortunately dominated by a trio of ‘writers’ who happened to be sitting closest to me in the cafe:

‘Its’ prose! It’s prose!’
‘Paragraphs! Paragraphs!’
‘Do you particularly like?’
‘In the very first poem I wrote, I…’
‘On the level of being published…’
‘Well respected… Carol Ann Duffy?’
‘I like what he’s saying there John.’
‘It’s prose, innit?’
‘No, poetry is not a diary!’
‘And then I asked the question!’
‘Of course it completely outstrips that.’
‘A short story I never really finished was…’
‘Half-baked, but okay?’
‘What? Over seven days?’
‘In our workshop…’
‘It was just on bits of paper…’
‘Simon, in our workshop it worked very well.’
‘Something has to be triggered… something unexpected!…’
‘I’m going to Tescos now.’
‘Something in between our times…’
‘In the library there was some semblance of…’
‘Much less differential?’
‘More details! More details!…’
‘Yes, our publication was…’
‘I’ll just pop it in my bag.’
‘A pull issue?’
‘Vicious boom girlfriend Tom.’
‘I said it was a size… Oh, vegetables?’
‘Lamin wagglin… sorry, what?’
‘Anger! So if he was mushy mushy about it…’
‘A book pick weed?’
‘It was nose ring nostril Peter.’
‘A wooden thrall? I was just wondering…’
‘Tebby damn!…’

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
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7 Responses to Some snatches of overheard and misheard cafe conversation…

  1. Sounds like you infiltrated the local writing group! “I’m going to Tescos now” I imagine some woman huffed, pursing her lips and clutching her handbag to her bosom….clearly fed up that nobody was taking her poetry seriously.

    • Dave Whatt says:

      No, they were all men. They were very serious about it all, and next year’s ‘UK City of Culture’ was mentioned a bit, but I chose to not include references to that…

      • Oh I saw something about Dulltowns bid for that – it was to do with a naked body art exhibition or something. Yes, that will make people sit up and take notice! Our bid is for 2021, because clearly, we are at the cows tail as usual, pfft!

      • Dave Whatt says:

        Yes, people can apply to get togther and be naked in public – it’s art, of course…
        “Our bid”? Where are you then?

      • Paisley. The place that calls itself a city, yet has no city status, despite umpteen applications, haha!

      • Dave Whatt says:

        Paisley – aha! It looks very pretty (I just Googled it). It’s always nice to picture where someone is. I have a Glaswegian friend, I’ll bet she knows Paisley.

      • I’m not from here, but yes its got lovely architecture. It was known for its textile industry back in the day, and the river that runs through the town is teeming with wildlife. Sadly now though, its gone the way of many a fine town and the high street is full of charity shops (oh happy days, haha!) hairdressers and poundshops. There is also the “Staffy Brigade” who are best avoided. Your Glaswegian friend will know of it, yes. You’ll probably get a dubious response, unless she is particularly fond of the place. 🙂

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