So, what is it that those TV ads are trying to tell us?…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s random dictionary words are: woubit, wow-wow, wortle, worricow, worral, and prolegomena. Please have these words looked up and placed in suitable sentences ready for Professor Mouldie first thing after breakfast tomorrow morning. The professor may conduct the lesson as he spins white china plates on sticks; you should not let this draw your attention away from your studies.

This is gonna be good! – with fruity flavours! – fashion for every occasion – a yoghurty go-ahead bar! – a bright future – with free range eggs! – watch amazing movies! – sustainably sourced! – and then some! – a little Greek twist! – wake up to Nutella! – on your lamb-burgers – she’s got it! – whaaa! – the latest beauty secret is out! – it’s amazing what they’ll discover! – get noticed every time! – solid hardwood! – it’s what gives you strength – dancing dancing! – nutrient rich flakes! – want to stay young? – from the world’s number one! – you are a star! – that’s amazing! – nothing can stand in my way! – you are simple and pure! – relax, stay cool! – liquid locking gel – rewrite the rules! – yes, yes, yes! – subtle little ways – reduce tartar build-up – oat granola! – bingo browser and more! – inside special packs! – slow release carbohydrates! – it shouldn’t be a wet nappy – fifty free plays!

The next time you get cold called, why not repeatedly read this out to them until they hang up? Print out a copy and keep it by the phone.

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in brain, existentialism, humour, information, instruction, phones, poetry, serendipity, sex, surrealism, TV, words and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to So, what is it that those TV ads are trying to tell us?…

  1. I find a piercing whistle down the phone works well…..or getting them to “hold on while I find a pen” then go back to what I was doing, also works. But your post looks fun to try out – I just need to wait for some brave soul to ring me now…..! 😀

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s