A return to the Pink Wall of Tat…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s special sounds are: grunt, rattle, scrape, scrape, titter, rattle, chortle, and grunt.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

It all started a few years ago; I was coming back from a visit to the dentist when I spotted, in a charity shop window, a pretty bad oil painting of a sailing ship avoiding some clouds. I am attracted to bad paintings, and other objets d’art, that have a bit of odd ‘style’ about them. Anyway I bought it for a couple of pounds and took it home. I hung it on a wall which happened to be painted pink, yes I know, pink…
Over the following years it was joined by other cheap spur of the moment purchases with dubious artistic merit. I call this my Pink Wall of Tat. Look, here it is… Nice eh?…

DSCN4470Would you like me to run through and describe these treasures for you?
Let’s start with that group of six at the top right: I don’t really know what that woman’s head with swirling red hair is all about at all – for some reason she has a treble clef and some musical notes tattooed on her cheeks; a plaster 3D wall plaque with an aged seafaring man looking pensively out of his cottage window; a sort of ‘mask’ I once quickly made from a blob of mortar I had left over from a repair job; a small white saucer commemorating Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher’s reign; a larger one commemorating some royal marriage or other, I can’t recall who the participants were though; and a bright glossy pot fish leaping over the dial of a nonfunctioning thermometer.
Top left we have a faded print of a large-headed boy staring at the sun coming up or going down over the sea. In the centre, two brass plaques, one with people carousing and someone twanging a lute, and below, a galleon cruising along on a reassuringly calm sea.
Bottom left, a well used tea towel from 1981 with another couple of Royals and some British Empire flags on it.
Centre stage, is of course, the Mona Lisa, I don’t think it’s the real one – it is one I adapted several years ago – the eyes light up red when you click a switch. To the right you can see some rather stiff swirling flamenco dancers with all the red bleached out them by years spent in sunlight from a window. You will notice that I haven’t mentioned the little framed picture down at the bottom. This one is the reason for the resurrection of the Pink Wall of Tat.
I thought that the wall was full and the P W O T was finally finished, but it was my birthday recently and a good friend gave me an old framed treasure map as a present…
It seemed to fit nicely in at the bottom. But, there is, as you can see, a long thin and obvious empty space to its right now. Perhaps I’ll come across a suitably thin wide portrait of a snake or something to fill the gap? Oh, here is a close-up of my treasure map:

DSCN4466It came with an old and yellowing Certificate of Provenance and Authenticity in a dirty brown envelope which was stuck to the back of the frame. You will notice that there are two real metal coins attached to the map too. Gosh! Isn’t this exciting? It must be true, it has a Certificate of Provenance and Authenticity! I’m so thrilled, isn’t this great?…
Ah, I see at the bottom of the Certificate of Provenance and Authenticity there is, in very small print, the line: Copyright: Britannia Coin Products… Hm…

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
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4 Responses to A return to the Pink Wall of Tat…

  1. O’ my GOSH, I adore your PWOT! And what an amazing present to be given (Oh, happy belated birthday – are you a Taurus then?) What you need for that long bit at the bottom, is some old tatty bunting from someones garden party – it would fit right in with the royal tea towel, and that maggie thatcher saucer. Ooooh, I’ve had a great idea! I could send you some “money” tissues, all lined up in a fetching way. The fact that someone could actually blow ones nose upon HRH amuses me more than it should.

    • Dave Whatt says:

      Mm… Me Taurus… Am I a typical one, do you think?
      Speaking of money – I’ll be sure to remember you Madam Scribbler when they start sending me all the cash from that shipwreck… Will you want the actual gold doubloons, or perhaps the equivalent in Scottish pound notes?…

      • Hmmm, well I’ll take the gold thanks, since its accepted everywhere – unlike the sad old Scottish notes which are regarded with suspicion south of the Border…. 😦 Regarding traits of Taurus, well from what little I know (of you) I would say yes….Taurus people are reliable (I know you post every day, because I comment every day, haha!) and have an eye for beautiful things (the PWOT, for example) so, yes. Apparently they are also known for being lazy and stubborn, but that could be said of most people anyway, haha!

      • Dave Whatt says:

        Yes, Scottish banknotes are buggers to get rid of down here…
        Taureans:
        Mm, I’m probably all those things – of course it is all a load of cobblers!…

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