Stella nibbles on a wheel…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s joke is the one about the contents of the Chancellor’s dispatch box being replaced by a dirty house brick and two live rats. Oh, how we chortled behind the wainscoting.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERALandscape No. 89. Pastel and colour pencil on paper about 24″ x 18″. 2009.

‘Come on, come on, you dunderhead! I’m wearing my knuckles out on your front door.’
‘Ah, Stella my dear, yes, right, do come in, you are a bit earlier than normal, I was in the…’
‘Normal David? ‘What is normal?’ I’m known for my disregard for normality you know…’
‘Yes, quite, but usually you arrive at… Oh, I see you are wearing blue reflective ‘Easy Rider’ sunglasses, and a matching floppy sun hat… Is that Prussian blue?’
‘So what if it is…?’
‘Well, you look… very, striking…’
‘Thank you… Now, I’ll have a large mug of Taylor’s of Harrogate Yorkshire tea, and a decent sized slab of some nice cake, or a few biscuits, to go with it whilst I cast my eye over a piece of your recent work – don’t stand there like a lemon, go and put the kettle on!’
‘It’s already on. It’s not that recent, it was done back in… Aren’t you going to take your shades off? I find it a bit… you know, they’re like big scary insect eyes, or those of an X-Files alien.’
‘Thank you, how very charming you are this morning David. Is this a building?’
‘Could be, I suppose.’
‘Looks like they’ve been brightening up the Ministry of Stealth to make it look more trustworthy and cuddly – Mm, this tea is very nice David, what about something to nibble?’
‘Oh, did you bring something my dear?’
‘I thought that interesting looking bulge in your bag might be something on the lines of a box with a medium sized chocolate fudge cake in it?’
‘No, it’s a USB charger I’m taking back to Wilkos – wrong bloody socket…’
‘Mm… So, you think it’s the ‘Ministry of Stealth’ then? Where’s that from?’
‘Made it up of course. Don’t you have any biscuits David?’
‘I have four fig rolls and a Wagon Wheel in my tin.’
‘They’ll do, pass ’em over – I love the way the building is glowing and monolithic, squatting there in a morass of polluted stinking land, the evil state edifice thriving under the sun amid the squalor that was once nature, where the poor bloody inhabitants eke out their pathetic existence by… Oh, I’ve not had a Wagon Wheel for ages! They are a bit over sweet, but really quite sustaining – have you any more David?’
‘No, that was the only one – another mug of tea my dear?’
‘Mm, those big fingers make it look like someone playing the accordion.’
‘No, Stella, it doesn’t – here, have a fig roll or two.’
‘It’s the tiny people, the figures, they give it the necessary scale, they lift it from being a pretty mediocre piece of work to a – do you think that when the little folk are all inside the great big hands are going to crush it all to dust with them in it?’
‘Still, it’s a nice sunny blue sky David…’

(Wagon Wheels)

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
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11 Responses to Stella nibbles on a wheel…

  1. Oh I like this – very colourful. And don’t you think wagon wheels have become very small these days? Same with jaffa cakes….tiny little things. I had to hold one with both hands when I was little. Hmm….maybe that was subliminal…anyway there was a lot more eating on them than there is now! Hrmph.

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