My personal details (Part 1)…

But first…
Dulltown, Europe: Today’s expletive and insult, from Captain Frances Grose’s Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue (1785), via Bozzimacoo: Origins & Meanings of Oaths & Swear Words by Mary Marshall (1975), is ‘Shitsack’ – a Nonconformist preacher.
(I must confess that I’m not sure what a Nonconformist preacher is, or was, and why he would be derided in this way.)

As I was walking through the centre of Dulltown the other day, past a branch of McDonald’s, I glanced in through the window, glimpsed the hunched customers sitting shoving food into their faces with their short chubby fingers, and I realised that I had never had a McDonald’s hamburger.
Later on, drinking tea in a cafe, I thought that I might make a list of some other things in my life that I’ve never done.
Here is part one. By the way, I have included one entry in the list which is untrue, you may like to guess which one it is dear reader.

I have never…
Had a mobile phone.
Seen an episode of a TV soap.
Ridden on a horse.
Met anyone famous.
Had my tonsils out.
Learned to crochet.
Steered a steamship.
Been married.
Ridden to hounds.
Sent a meal back in a restaurant.
Seen Sydney Opera House.
Dressed up in women’s clothes.
Been in jail.
Had a chip pan fire.
Had my fortune told.
Laid a bet on a horse.
Been able to sing decently.
Seen a ghost.
Learned to speak French.



About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in books, cafe, Dulltown, existentialism, expletives, food, history, Hull.UK., humour, information, serendipity, swearing, thinking, words and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to My personal details (Part 1)…

  1. Oh this is fun! Ok, I think the untrue one is the chip pan fire. You strike me as being someone would decide to have chips for dinner, then get distracted by something incredibly interesting and forget all about them ๐Ÿ˜€

  2. Right, I bet you HAVE steered a steamship, given your penchant for boats…….?

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