Some overheard and misheard snatches of cafe conversation…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s 18th c. expletive is Arrah now! which Captain Francis Grose describes, in the his Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue (1785), as ‘An unmeaning expletive, frequently used by the Vulgar Irish.’
It’s pretty innocuous isn’t it? It would be really quite difficult to upset anyone with that.

(For some reason there were a lot of schoolgirls in the cafe that day.)

‘Howie was laughing, oh how he was!’
‘Please please, insects are the worst thing!’
‘All of my belongings Tom…’
‘I do do that, but it is usually black.’
‘Olivia, they do… they do!…’
‘If that’s you gets an H! Baby hair!…’
‘I think of worms Sarah.’
‘He had an awful five-pence accent.’
‘Scratch marks, your manky nails!’
‘A whimly pair?…’
‘A cuddle girl, that’s right…’
‘Hem-hem, awful, and misspelled!’
‘I’ll call Lewis anyway, pumandalee.’
‘Work schedule – what nuts!’
‘Teeth together – can I have a look?’
Get more cheese pasty – whatever!’
‘I’m not an idiot – pop it in!’
‘Britney, literally, accidentally.’
‘The solarium needs change, one leg down.’
‘Oh wow! A steam ending!’
‘I need nothing please, I just made it up.’
‘I put mine in a box – and you?…’
‘Mary? An actress? Ha! Do I get them now?’
‘Please noo-nye-owa for days on end Donnie.’
‘I swear, on the bottom of my arm…’
‘What?… Technically still going out?’


About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
This entry was posted in books, brain, cafe, conversation, cool, Dulltown, existentialism, expletives, history, Hull.UK., humour, information, misheard, overheard, serendipity, surrealism, swearing, words and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Some overheard and misheard snatches of cafe conversation…

  1. julie harms says:

    This made me laugh a lot. A couple years ago a writer did just that in France. He wrote books filled with citations he overheard in French bars and bistrots. The books were titled “Brèves de comptoir”. He wrote several volumes…They were very popular.

  2. Haha! “Schoolies” talk about the strangest things! And yes, get on with it, man – the publishing I mean. Oh, and I have a new neighbour called Isa Watching. Seriously, what the heck?!

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