A few small, but pithy items…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s featured letter of the alphabet is the capital ‘P’.
The letter ‘P’ is an elegant upstanding letter, and ‘P’ is generally quite happy in his work, even if the other letters do refer to him as ‘Mr big nose’.

Excuses for being late. No. 298.
I’m sorry I’m late, but I had issues with a bothersome pigwigeon. (P)

A single overheard remark:
‘It’s absolutely inscriminate!…’

‘I suppose it’s the River Nose then?’
‘The Rhine…’
‘Ah, right…’

An observation:
Today in Dulltown all the seagulls are cleverly imitating the meowing of cats.

I’m thinking of changing my name to Alexander Dumb-Ass.

‘Excuse me, but I see that you have left your car window slightly open… Aren’t you afraid someone might break into it?’
‘No, no, this a small picturesque market town – we don’t have petty crooks here. All our crooks are bankers and hedge fund managers – they don’t bother with breaking into cars like the poor people do in the city.’

You know, worse than those people chatting loudly in the cafe are the ones doing a newspaper crossword, reading out all the clues to each other – you can’t help being sucked in…

‘Oh I do love art in all its forms, but I’m afraid that I have no imagination whatsoever.’
‘Oh dear, that is unfortunate… Still, you could go on to be an art critic. Having no imagination, nor being able to creative anything, is probably an advantage in that field.’
‘Of course, of course! Thank you… By the way, I don’t think much of your shirt…’

A single overheard remark:
‘There was creamage in the middle.’

The other day I was listening to Bo Diddley’s  song Who Do You Love (1956) on my MP3 player. I started to hear the lyrics as a surreal poem – Oh, Bo (Elias McDaniel) you were so good!…

I walk forty-seven miles of barb wire,
I use a cobra snake for a necktie,
I got a brand new house on the roadside,
Made from rattlesnake hide,
I got a brand new chimney made on top,
Made out of a human skull.
Now come take a walk with me Arlene,
And tell me who do you love?
Who do you love? x5
I got a tombstone hand and a graveyard mind,
Just twenty-two and I don’t mind dying.
Who do you love? x4
I rode a lion to town, used a rattlesnake whip,
Take it easy Arlene, don’t give me no lip.
Who do you love x4
Night was dark, but the sky was blue,
Down the alley, the ice-wagon flew,
Heard a bump and somebody screamed,
You should have heard just what I seen.
Who do you love? x4
Arlene took me by my hand,
And she said ooo-ee Bo, you know I understand.
Who do you love? x4

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
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9 Responses to A few small, but pithy items…

  1. Love the lyrics…..Be good to see this illustrated actually, haha! And talking of lions, we have an art trail launching today consisting of 26 colourful lion sculptures dotted around town. Because that’s how we roll, apparently!

    • Dave Whatt says:

      Here in Dulltown, apart from the 3,000 nude blue people (you may have seen on the national news) there are also lots of unusually plump coloured plastic moths appearing on the sides of buildings, for some reason…

      • Ah yes, I see them on Google. Quite chubby aren’t they? Its to celebrate Amy Johnson, a female aviator who came from your place. She’s dead now, obviously, but was quite famous for being the first woman to fly alone from Britain to Australia, among other things. Also you had an influx of painted toads as well, some time ago. Dunno what that was for – not keen on toads, really.

      • Dave Whatt says:

        Oh, yes them toads – that was because poet (don’t like poets) Philip Larkin worked here in Dulltown at the University – he apparently wrote one about, or mentioning, toads.
        We have so little here in Dulltown, they’ll celebrate anything, however tenuous…

      • Haha! Sounds like up here (need to think of a name….Pee Town?!), I mean the whole point of these lions is to attract new business and footfall to the place, because there is absolutely nothing here. Quite how a bunch of painted lions is going to do that, I don’t know, but its a start I suppose.

      • Dave Whatt says:

        Hm… S’pose so…

        Have you heard of a ‘Paisley Strat’?…

      • No, but I do now. A guitar covered in Paisley pattern. Did you know that the paisley pattern originated in Persia, and we just copied it and produced it in copious amounts on absolutely everything! I don’t like it as an art piece, personally, its too fussy. Now a guitar on the other hand…… 😀

      • Dave Whatt says:

        Hm… Paisley guitars – a bit too flowery for me, but each to his/her own I suppose…

      • ….Pimpleshire, even!

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