Daftness in the workshop…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s dance is the mazurka – come on, let’s skip around the kitchen clapping our hands!…

I do like to have a clock in my little workshop; well, you don’t want to be wearing a watch if you are hammering or chiselling do you? It would get sweaty and sticky under the strap – no one wants sweatiness under their strap do they? So, I think a clock on the workshop wall is a very good idea; you know, if you need to go out for some important appointment later in the afternoon, and round about lunchtime you think, Hm, I might just pop into my workshop for an hour, and chisel the corners off that piece of iroko I left in the vice (or is it vise?) last night, and before you know it, you are covered in shavings and sawdust, and very late setting off. Time really does fly when you are having fun!
Anyway, I had a good-sized quartz clock on the wall for the last few years, it was one someone gave me, it had a cute colourful advert for the local telephone company’s yellow pages in the middle of its round white face. A couple of weeks ago it finally gave up the temporal ghost and stopped dead.
I popped into town and bought a new one, a smaller one, from a branch of Wilkos – it was only £2 – exceptionally good value! Well, not really, it would run for a couple of days then, for reasons of its own, decide to have a rest – but as soon as I twiddled the battery in its little holder it would start up again and run for a couple more days – you get the idea? Yes, it was annoying – I even sandpapered the battery terminals in the hope that they had a bit of tarnish on them that was interrupting the current, but no, that didn’t do any good. I threw it into the workshop rubbish bin; it wasn’t really worth taking it back to the shop, anyway I hadn’t kept the receipt. I bought a replacement for a fiver from a different shop and hung that up – so far so good. I’ll bet you are wondering where all this is leading dear reader.
Warning – I think this is going to be quite a long post…
Yesterday I happened to glance into the rubbish bin and saw the faulty clock lying there looking up at me. I like clock faces – clocks are very eye-catching and are also a bit strange – Giorgio de Chirico often had a clock in his paintings, and I sometimes have a clock face in my big charcoal drawings, but usually I don’t put hands on them – there is something mysterious about a clock with no hands – perhaps there is no time, or perhaps the hands are whizzing around so fast we can’t see them?
So, I picked the old clock out of the rubbish, dusted it off, opened it up, removed the useless hands, and hung it next to the new working one. Hm, looks good, is there something pithy being said here? I think I might take a photograph of it…

DSCN4602Is that strange enough for you?
Oh, you are probably wondering what those things on the wall below the clocks are. On the left is a laminated copy of my Workshop Rules – no no, it’s not for me, that would be silly! But for other people whom I occasionally allow to take advantage of my facilities. If you’d like to read my rules you could probably zoom in on the picture, but I suppose I could instead give you a quick taste of the style of it:
We bring all our own tools, including saws, chisels, screwdrivers, files, bits, router bits, etc. We don’t hide or misplace other people’s tools.
We do not leave our work, or our tools, on the bench at the end of a session. We sweep the bench into the rubbish box after every session.
You get the idea! Ho ho!…
Finally, that funny looking round thing bottom right is one of the cardboard ‘masks’ I use doing my ‘Spatter Paintings’ – hence the bright splashed colours – the rectangular holes are there to allow it to be stuck down to the paper with masking tape.
Anyway, there it is – a reasonably interesting and intriguing photograph I think…
Thank you staying with me to the end on this one dear reader…

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
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6 Responses to Daftness in the workshop…

  1. Marvellous! I feel like I’ve been there ….

  2. Oh! Well my first thought was “Oh that would make a really cool clock!” (Thinking of the spatter painting masking thingie you have), and then I noticed the rules, and thought “pfft!” until I read them and they made sense, albeit in a nicely bossy way (haha!). THEN I saw the no-hand clock and thought “why on earth…..wait that looks quite nice actually” but I have no interpretation for it. I just keep looking at the colourful spatter mask. Its a work of art in itself 😀 P.S. My kitchen is too small to dance in 😦

    • Dave Whatt says:

      Kitchen too small for dancing! Goodness me!… No room for mazurkas!
      So, you thought “pfft!” then – I have never ever thought “pfft!” – except perhaps when people I have let use my workshop leave shavings all over the place, and put my screwdrivers back the wrong holes in the shelf… Pfft!…

      • Ah, well, that’s an appropriate “pfft!” then, oh yes, can’t be having that at all. Leave a place as respectable as you find it, my granny always said. 😀

  3. Sajda Afifi says:


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