Stella and the slices…

But first…
Dulltown, UK: Today’s wrinkled old black and white snapshot is the one of me sharing a pot of tea with Marilyn Monroe in the pavilion at Lords Cricket Ground in 1956.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA‘The Nature of Art’ (2005). Pencil on paper about, oh let’s say 24″ x 18″.

‘Ah, Stella my dear… I was just about to take the wheelie bins out – look, I’ll get the blue recycling one, you grab the brown garden waste one, it’s not too heavy, just a few hedge clippings.’
‘As if!…’
‘You really expect me to take your filthy bin out?’
‘No, no, of course not… What could I have been thinking? Anyway it’s not filthy, don’t just stand there, move your great fat arse and let me get them onto the pavement… There, now it’s done!’
‘Aren’t you going to invite me in David?’
‘Come in my dear, you are most welcome, would you like a beverage and perhaps a snack?’
‘Your house smells David, have you been having fish?’
‘Just a modest tin of curried mackerel Stella. How about small cup of cheapskate coffee?’
‘Idiot, I want a big mug of Taylor’s of Harrogate Yorkshire Tea, as usual, and you know it! I want cake too!’
‘Right ho, the kettle is already on, and I do have some…’
‘Is this a joke?’
‘This drawing.’
No, I don’t think so, but then again, it might be… How about a nice vanilla slice with your beverage…’ (VS)
‘Did you wash your hands after handling those filthy bins?’
‘I might have… Why would my drawing be a joke Stella?’
‘It’s silly.’
‘Thank you… It’s called The Nature of Art. Here’s your tea, and your slice, oh, and don’t drop crumbs on the carpet.’
‘Mm, nice tea… Couldn’t you think of a more pretentious title for it David?’
‘Just shut up and eat… you great gannet…’
‘It’s about the humdrum, isn’t it David?’
‘The humdrum?’
‘Yes, the humdrum observed, taken, and lifted by the artist, put on a pedestal, to make people see what their silly lives are all about – look at their little domed stupid heads David…’
‘How’s the vanilla slice?’
‘Very nice thank you – I do like your classical reference too – and your amorphous cross-hatched blob is, in fact, just right.’
‘Is it?’
‘Yes, it sits quivering, hesitant and temporary and unnoticed, waiting for its own demise…’
‘Right… Can you manage another V-slice Stella?’
‘Alright… and see how crowded the arid flat world is – and the distant symbol of capitalism, the featureless monolithic glass prism, with all the smug bankers and money-men sitting inside, in their… what the hell is that bloody awful rumbling and crashing noise?’
‘Ah, that will be the bins being emptied Stella.’
‘Well, go outside and tell them to do it more quietly David.’
‘Right ho…’

About Dave Whatt

Grumpy old surrealist artist, musician, postcard maker, bluesman, theatre set designer, and debonair man-about-town. My favourite tools are the plectrum and the pencil...
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8 Responses to Stella and the slices…

  1. Haha! Oh dear, bossy Stella! Anyway, i do like this – it looks like ink, not pencil, well done. Suddenly it came to mind that it might be Santa’s “Chimney Sizer” which he uses throughout the summer months to gauge the width of chimneys. This is to ensure that he won’t get stuck en route at Christmas…..then again, it might just be a lovely abstract the size of my kitchen table. 😀

    • Dave Whatt says:

      A “chimney sizer” eh?… Hm…
      No, it really is pencil. What’s your favourite pencil? Mine is the 8B… Oh, so very dark!…
      Gosh! You must have a very small kitchen table my dear Scribbler…

      • Hmm, well any old pencil will do for a doodle sketch, so long as its B, but I was given some Derwent sketching pencils as a present last year, so I’m using those for “proper art”. and yes my table is tiny, and sits by the tiny window in my tiny kitchen 😀

      • Dave Whatt says:

        Tiny table, tiny window, tiny kitchen – is this “Scribbler Through the Looking Glass” by any chance?
        I have tin of Derwent’s ‘grey’ selection, but I don’t use them much, and…Hey, hang on, what do you mean by “proper art”?…

      • Hahaha! So funny! Yes its quite a small abode, despite having 3 bedrooms, but all the rooms are very tiny. The hall is long and narrow, which could be reminiscent of down the rabbit hole…..! And wait, no, i wasn’t having a go at “proper art” – v – “rubbish art”, what I meant I suppose was, that I save those pencils for “best” if you like. Not just a doodle, but nice, careful arty art….!?

      • Dave Whatt says:

        Gosh! Two separate classes of pencil! I admire your sense of oganisation my dear!
        Speaking of such matters – I must confess to having bought an electric pencil sharpener! You just pause in your drawing, poke it in the little hole and automatically buzzzzzz, and then carry on with a lovely sharp point.

      • Oooh, I have been looking at getting one of them myself, as they are quite cheap and very colourful. (Not to mention efficient, which is the whole point (haha) but thats quite exciting news. Are we going to be seeing more pencil work from you then, perhaps? 😀

      • Dave Whatt says:

        I got mine from Staples. It plugs into a mains adaptor, and so far I have no complaints. It is so quick that you don’t break your flow as you would using a fiddly little hand pencil sharpener or whittling with a Stanley knife.
        More pencil work? Oh, I think so…

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